Truly-Madly-Deeply Assistant

Baby talk pt. 2

Hey there, happy mid-week,😊

Grab a beverage; here's a long one!

"Tell me, Shannon, am I old? Like am I considered to be too old for certain things in life?" the question what I have been chewing on for days burst out from me as soon as the waitress left after taking our order.

Shannon was still getting comfortable, pouring water for both of us as his eyes flicked on me.

I knew he invited me for brunch because he had something he wanted to talk to me about but it was the perfect time I was looking for with him alone to finally talk to him about my conversation with Avery two days ago. Or well, it was more of a one sided conversation; I was too startled to react, really.

"Baby brother, you still don't look a day older than twenty-five even with this beard. Relax," he let an amused smile show as he poured water to me. "Which jealous designer pointed out those invisible wrinkles this time? Or other times you ask me this kind of question are when you start fooling around with a twenty year old, which I hope for your sake you don't," he looked back up to me seriously.

I rolled my eyes, resting my forearms on the table.

"Avery said I am too old."

He looked at me with a confused frown on his face.

"Avery? Your biggest fan who would bathe in your sweat if she could, Avery? Are you sure?"

"Oh yes I am," I sighed leaning back on the chair. "Look... I," I leaned forward again, taking a deep breath. "We were kind of... considering starting a family lately. In the future. I mean... I kind of started this whole thing; I don't know what was I thinking but I mentioned her that I really see us having a baby even though we already talked this through that I don't want to have kids and she seemed fine with it but I just... I just felt like she wasn't hundred percent FINE fine. So I was thinking about it... a LOT during the tour and... I decided I might want a kid, you know, and stupid enough I said this to her. Anyway she seemed excited she... even tried being more with Zoe and Rylie. She was so willing to learn about kids. And then in one moment she says to me that she is practicing and literally the next moment she tells me I'm too old to have kids and she backed out. She says I was right the first time; we shouldn't have a kid because basically I will be an old fuck and won't be able to do anything with the kid and will die on both of them way too early," I almost forgot to breath while I tried to tell the whole story in a nutshell, not looking at Shannon for the whole time.

After I finished I looked up just to see him completely put together and calm, seemingly still processing the whole story.

"Dude, you start turning into Avery. Overthinking.I bet this is what YOU heard and not what she told," he raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Think back now calmly and tell me what she really said?"

I looked at him disapprovingly.

I didn't want him to start analyzing me but I took a deep breath while the waitress got back with our drinks.

I nodded as a thank you and took a few sips before I talked.

"I am sure that's what she was thinking," I stated firm. "However, what she actually said is that we both are not getting any younger and she doesn't want to be an old parent and in a long run it wouldn't be fair to the kid, which was EXACTLY what I told her the very first time this topic came up. I am tasting my own medicine and it IS bitter. I don't know man, I really thought I could pull this off. I love her," I mumbled, playing with the edge of my napkin. "And I love kids and I always did... all kids, I was just excited to have my own with... someone I really love. I felt like I could create a family I never had. A family with a father who will never leave us because the father would be me this time," I smiled bitterly, shaking my head.