Magic Mirror

The Light Of My Darkest Days 🇵🇭

Hi! I'm Czasa and I am from the Philippines 🇵🇭 and THIS IS MY STORY.

I started to stan BTS, the moment I heard their songs to my sister. Just a lowkey fan. Lowkey vibing with their songs. I love them ever since. But my love for them grows more and more each passing day. Last year, I've experienced depression and anxiety because of my ex-boyfriend.

He caused me trauma. When we're still together, every time he felt jealous or something, he always cursed me like all the curse words, he said it all to me just because he's jealous or mad. He kept on saying that I'm a "slut". He even disrespects my parents. He told me every day that he wishes for my death. It was so toxic.

I always told him to let me go. He even denied on my face that I was not depressed at that time. Yet he keeps on blaming me for everything like it's my fault that's why he said all of that to me. And then one time, when I didn't answer his call because I was on the other call at that time with my cousins, he got jealous of my guy cousin, he said that it is possible that my guy cousin will be my boyfriend. That time, I didn't let him refuse my decision to break up with him.

After that day, I feel like I am not myself anymore. I lost myself. I feel so numb. I'm just crying the whole day. Blaming myself. Doubting myself. Asking myself if I deserve all those painful words. I don't know what to do with myself that day. Then BTS came into my life again. I keep on listening to their songs that makes me realize everything.

I watched all their performances even their shows like on bon voyage, in the soop, run bts, etc. They become the light of my darkest days. They helped me overcome my depression and anxiety. They make me realize that I'm worth it, that I deserve better than that. That I deserve more. They taught me how to love myself more.

They became my strength and also my weaknesses. They are the source of my happiness. They show me the best of me. I remember when my dad told me that BTS have a big impact on me. Well, I totally agree with my dad...

BTS MADE ME A BETTER PERSON.

I also remember when my dad told me I was in the right man, which means BTS. Because he always sees me smiling and laughing genuinely. Because of the effect of BTS on me, my dad supports me in everything about BTS. For sure, my dad thanking the boys so much. And I am proud, beyond proud to our boys, to our DEAREST BTS. I can say that without them, I am nothing.

Without them, I am not happy just like how happy I am now. Without them, maybe I am dead now. BTS is my everything.