Magic Mirror

Not Alone Anymore 🇸🇪

Hi! I'm Milla and I am from Sweden 🇸🇪 and THIS IS MY STORY.

When I was younger I was a part of a pretty big group of friends, and I was still close friends with them until last year. But last summer we all kind of grew apart and I'm not really friends with all of them. These people were a big part of my life and I was influenced by them (not in a bad way, we were all friends because of religion and it was easier because we understood why we couldn't do some things) and I loved them all so much.

But then about 3 years ago they kinda stopped talking with me, they didn't really ignore me and they let me hangout with them at school, but they never spoke to me, never asked me questions and never even looked at me. I felt so alone and unwanted and it didn't get better when summer came because I just got lonelier. And I still remember one day when one of them walked to my house just to ask my sister if she wanted to play soccer with them.

This continued until January last year when I broke down in class and cried quietly for almost an hour, then my teacher noticed and after we talked and I told her how I felt. The next day I talked to another teacher about it and that teacher fixed kind off a meeting like thing where me and my friends could talk it out, and it helped for about 2 weeks, then it got back to normal and I didn't want to tell anyone how I felt so I just sucked it up.

When summer came I became even lonelier than the summer before and I didn't want to live anymore, I thought about committing suicide every day, but never tried because I almost lost all off my energy just to get up and act happy in front off my family.
Then one day, august 1st 2020, I decided to watch a BTS interview, because my cousin is an ARMY and I had heard her talk about how funny they are, and I wanted to have something funny to do with my time.

And well, I wanted to learn their names and now they are one of the biggest parts of my life. And before any of you think that they just magically came into my life and I automatically loved myself, it wasn't like that, they made me try to fight for myself and they gave me the push too try harder in life.

Through their music and their lyrics I found a way too help me try to accept myself, and even if I still struggle and even if I still can't look at myself in the mirror and think that I'm beautiful, they still made me try. They made me try to get new friends and it worked, now I have two amazing friends that I will never forget and I have them who encourage me to love myself.

And that is why I love them more than almost everything else in this world.