Magic Mirror

Last Reason 🇩🇪

Hi! I'm Jimin and I am from Germany 🇩🇪 and THIS IS MY STORY.

I was a happy child who didn't care about anything until this all happened to me. Some people throw rocks at me but I didn't really care because I thought that everything will be fine. Then I got in the school. I was in the 1st grade where everyone was mean to me, they fought with me and stuff. And again, I didn't really care, then my parents slapped me.

I got in high school but I was really shy and didn't speak to many people, I was really bad in school because I got bullied in school, It was the whole class, 14 boys almost killed me, they abused me and the girls just laughed at me because I was crying. The teachers didn't do anything.

Then one day a new girl came in our class and she told me about BTS. She said I should listen to their songs. So I did. I really liked them and started to stan them. Everything got better again but I needed to go to another school. I got better in school and saw a boy, I was in love with him. I tried to get his attention.

One day, we started to flirt a little bit and then he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes. So, we were together and he tried everyday to touch me in places I didn't want to get touched. Then he just did it without my permission. He touched me everywhere and said: "if you don't let me touch you, you will get r@ped". So I let him do his things with me.

After a few months I found a girl that I really liked so I immediately broke up with him. Me and this girl dated for 3 months. She said she found someone else and dated her the whole time while I was dating her. I broke up with her. This bad thing, repeat the whole time so I got trust issues. Then we all heard about the coronavirus and we needed to stay in our houses.

In this time I thought about everything that happened to me and realized I've been depressed for 2 years. I tried to do suicide. After that I went to a psychiatry because my mom saw me trying to take my life. It was the 17th November 2020 when I get in there. I was there for 3 months. This 3 months changed me a lot. I was home and everything was like before. I didn't get out of my room, I was the whole time on my phone and was lying on my bed.

And now. I always need to go to school because I skipped school a lot. I talk with no one in school and when I'm sad again, I hurt myself in the middle of the class because no one cares anyway, they're just looking at me shocked or laughing and saying I should do more scars. I come home and my mom's screaming at me for no reason. I got a girlfriend now and she makes me happy but I still got trust issues. I tried to run away from home but it didn't work. I got diagnosed with depression. I don't eat much.

But the only thing that makes me feel alive and makes me feel worth it again is BTS.

They really helped me a lot and I really love them so much. They're the only ones who are always there for me when I need them.

They're the reason why I am still alive.