Magic Mirror

The Lost Bear In The Moon 🇵🇭

Hi! I'm Moonbear and I am from the Philippines 🇵🇭 and THIS IS MY STORY.

I had always been satisfied with the happiness that I had when I was a child, I couldn't ask for more because on that time there were no words such as pain and problems. But as I grow up, people started leaving me behind, my family started to tear apart, my parents started to lost communication and just everything around me started to be broken.

I did not just lose the people I love but also lost myself. Completely.

And because of that situation, I felt anxious about the world and so I had this mindset that I should always do my best in order for them not to leave me. I did everything. I even dragged my friends down for me to be at top 1, I stay up late to finish the tasks and I kneeled down in front of my rivalry to add a number to my score.

You can call me desperate, because I am really was.

It's not because I want to, but I have to. Because of my family.

But behind all of those, I was crying and couldn't breathe.

And I realized that, me having many achievements is the only way for them to stay. But as time goes by, its still wasn't enough, I became distant to my father because he never treated me the same way like my half sister. He was so unfair. Then my mom too, unconsciously forgot me, her love for me kept fading, until one day, no one loves me and appreciates me anymore.

And now, they have someone in their minds now, their happy. So few months ago, I decided to accept my fate and their happiness in their separate way. I'm ready to lose both of them if that's the only way to find myself, to find my own happiness too.

But it wasn't enough--my body, heart and mind can't endure all that pain, so I thought of taking the easier route, which is ending the pain, the sadness.
I almost killed myself by a rope, but before jumping on the chair, my mom hurriedly opened my room, kneeling and begging me to stop. She was crying and praying to God. And I couldn't help but to shed a tear too and I asked myself...

Why am I doing this? Why do I have to hurt people before I die?

Even though how many mistakes she makes, it will never change the fact that she's still my mom. After that night I assumed everything that will hurt me through them in order for me to be ready in pain.

During my hardships, BTS came, they were there for me when no one does, they were the hope and the motivation for me to reach the highest stars. Their presence was my comfort, their music was my healing and their wisdoms were my strength.

They've filled me in every way possible. I may not have a complete and happy family, but I am still thankful because I have them. In a million of stars, in a million of flowers and in a million of people, I will always choose BTS. They've made me into someone I never imagined I could be. And I will never regret meeting them.

Thank you, and I will forever be grateful to be on this family.

Because of you I realized that at some point there will be people who will never see my worth, who will make me feel useless and who will lessen my confidence to be the real me in this world, but you also taught me to ignore all of this and live the way I wanted.

I was just a lost bear in the moon with an empty heart who just goes on with the phases of the moon but now, I am woman who's more wiser, more stronger, and more confident than yesterday.

I couldn't help but to appreciate my own kind of glow.

And it's all because of you.