Magic Mirror

Dynamite ARMY 🇹🇳

Hi! I'm Rahma and I am from Tunisia 🇹🇳 and THIS IS MY STORY.

Dear reader(s),

Many of you may don't know who I am or even that I exist, but let me tell you about my story.

I am a teenage girl from Tunisia who was saved at the moment she thought it will never get better, but before I get to how I was saved let me tell you the condition I was saved from. I live in a small city in what you can call the countryside with people who don't know anything about dealing with humans which led to my heart getting broken endlessly since I started opening my eyes to the world.

The rules I had to follow as a girl, the "cover up" and the "You are a girl not a boy"'. I always heard, the friends that made fun of me whenever I cared about someone, the people who let me down whenever I tried to help them through their hard times, the boys who chose others over me because I am not enough, the body shaming I had to go through as a kid, the laughs of my parents that made me question my decisions, my parents' quarrels and the list goes on.

All of this didn't only break my heart, but made me think about commiting since I was 13 years old . It breaks my heart everyday that people around me actually forget that I am a human, they expect me to take responsibility for everything, help in everything and get the best grades in school without getting tired and sick of everything.

I am now 16 years old but I have been through a lot to be just a 16-year-old. For as long as I can remember , I have been the intelligent girl who always gets excellent grades, the girl who takes responsibility and handles it like no one her age, the girl who is good at everything and can speak in any topic, the girl who gives the best advice and the girl with the strongest personality .

Yet, that was only what I put out there for others to see.

On the inside, I am just a sensitive broken hopeless soul .

I have always believed that the only thing that I am really good at is school, or at least they made me believe that because if I am bad at it then I am dumb and automatically a failure. Everything let me down, my body image, my loved ones, myself, but it was all good because school was under control.

Yet when school let me down last year, when all my friends succeeded in an exam, I prepared for all year and I didn't pass, that's when I knew I couldn't be saved anymore .

Everything fell apart all at ones, I didn't get the desired grade in the exam which was more than important, my first love who lost interest in me which made me feel not good enough, my body image that I struggled to fix after all the body shaming comments which pushed me to lose weight and develop an eating disorder, my ex best friend distancing herself from me, my depression and anxiety that took over me and my parents and relatives comments on everything about me which made it worse .

To be honest, I thought about ending it all while I was going through that phase. But all of a sudden , I woke up one day not feeling a single thing. I couldn't be sad or happy, I couldn't cry or laugh, I couldn't feel anything, it was like my heart suddenly stopped protecting itself from the extreme grief I was going through .

However, It was a matter of weeks until the moon came to lighten the darkness I was in. My BFF, who was an ARMY, sent me the music video of Dynamite. At first I didn't want to watch it but I tried to give it a chance and see what it is about. And that was the best decision I have ever did in my whole life, for the first time in weeks of being numb I felt something, I felt like I was alive again, I felt like me again, hope and happiness rushed through my dead veins again, I wanted to dance and sing the song till the day I die, their vocals made my numb heart work again, it was too good to be true but it was more than true.

I didn't hesitate to dig through their unique world, and in a few days I found myself entering the fandom as a Dynamite ARMY, at least that's what I call myself .

Since the day I listened to Dynamite, I was pulled from the darkness I was in and introduced to the light again, they changed me and built my broken heart again. Even if it breaks again, it will only take a few songs and videos to draw a smile on my face again .

They were the people who saved me when I lost hope in being saved, they cured my callosity and made my heart fly through fields of happiness and light .

That's why , from that day, from that second I clicked on that MV, BTS took place in my life as the heroes who pulled me from the bottom of an ocean filled with depression and grief to a beach filled with love , hope and happiness .

Sincerely, Rahma.