Chapter 38: Tsunade's Decision

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After having dinner, Naruto found Tsunade alone outside, watching the night sky with a forlorn expression. "Tsunade-san, may I join you, if you don't mind?" "Sure Gaki. Might as well answer whatever you wanted to ask me here and not in the bar." She replied, voicing her suspicions.

"Ah, yes. Nothing much. I just wanted to know what happened in your life that caused you, the granddaughter of the one who introduced the Will of Fire, to lose the said Will." "I'd rather not talk about it." "I insist, Tsunade-san. It might help you sort your feelings and make your decision. You look rather conflicted." "Do I now?" Tsunade asked with a challenging glare. "I think so, no offense. I've seen and studied several formidable shinobi in Konoha. Konoha seems too bright to be real. My wish is to make the superficial peace a reality.But now, it has many dark shadows beneath the light. It gave rise to many unhappy shinobi such as you. I merely wish to fix it. If not for the sake of the village, then for the sake of one human, who tries her best not to suffer." Naruto gave a pointed look at Tsunade, who sighed.

"I had a brother, Senju Nawaki. When he was around your age, I gave him this necklace I have on my neck for his birthday." She pointed to her necklace that had a prominent green gem as a pendant. "It belonged to our grandfather. My brother was proud of it and declared that he would become Hokage and protect the village just like Ojii-sama. However, we were in war then, and the next day, that idiot had got himself caught in a blast and the necklace was the only thing that came back to me in one piece.

To reduce casualties in war, I devised few medical guidelines, and formed various rules for medic ninja to follow. It was during a meeting for the guidelines that I met Kato Dan, Shizune's uncle. He had lost his little sister just like I had lost my sibling and shared the passion to protect the village. He dreamed of becoming Hokage and serve his village and people. We grew close and soon became lovers. I gave him the necklace as a symbol of faith in his dream and our love. But in a battle after that, he was gravely injured. I tried my best to heal him, but it was of no use. He died in my arms. He died with his blood in my hands." She looked at her hands and teared up.

Naruto caught her hand and held it in comfort. She understood why a doctor such as herself was afraid of blood. After a few minutes of crying, Tsunade collected herself and said, "I lost my precious people for Konoha. One after another. I didn't want to stay in the village that took their lives and be constantly reminded of what I loved and lost. Orochimaru... He offered to bring them back. He said he could revive them."

After a long pause, Naruto said, "We are shinobi Tsunade-san. The job comes with risk. The risk of losing our lives, the loves of the ones we hold dear. But we strive everyday. We may not be able to protect everyone, but we can try to save as many as possible, if not all. There had been no villages like today in the time of Hashirama-sama and Madara-sama. It had been worse. The villages were built to stop the fighting and protect more people and they succeeded. We have to take this further and make sure the rate of deaths and losses reduces to nil. Or, that's what I plan to do. We can change the way the world works. You can change that, by becoming Hokage; by making sure Konohagakure stays safe and strong. Isn't that what Dan-san and Nawaki-san would want? Of course nothing can replace what has been lost. But we can try create new bonds and do our best to protect them. We can make sure the future would be better than the past. Upon experiencing a loss, we mourn, train harder, and become stronger and move on with a valuable lesson, trying our best to not repeat our mistakes.

I am not quite fit to be the one saying all this, since I haven't experienced loss as great as yours. I have no siblings, nor any lovers. But I have friends I cherish above all and do my best to make sure they are safe from all kinds of threats, both inside and outside the village. But perhaps, I had experienced a loss, when I was too young. I might not remember much but I miss her. As of recent, I've come close to the feeling of loss. But I don't have much experience like you Tsunade-san. 

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