Bluebell Review Chamber [CLOSED]

જ DONATI જ ☾Crystal☽

Book Name: DONATI

Author: ivyoctave

Reviewer: Scarlet__02

Title: 7/10 

Really thoughtful name but as in a reader's point of view one would just google the meaning which shows present and it ain't related . 

 Cover : 8/10 

 Try to make it more catchy 

 Description : 9.5/10 

Add something more or you can edit text by making it stylish . Readers prefer and judge the book on this basis . 

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Preface :: It's appreciable how you added the copyrights' , ur views on the main plot and gave disclaimer . But... somewhere everyone would know it's a family drama so I suggest to change the epigraph . 

Aesthetic :: The name makes it look like some extra or personal stuff by the author so it's better to change the title . 

I was personally attracted just due to the language but prefer if there are a bit twists in the story. Warn about cursings before and there were 2 characters .... to be more precise Amara and Alek .

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Original:: The sound of tires screeching reached my ears as I looked over my shoulder and locked my eyes on a familiar car. 
Changed:: As I heard the screeching of the tires I looked over my shoulder to meet up ...............with a familiar car?

Original:: Taking a deep breath, I sprinted towards the car with all that was left in me. The door was thrown open and Amara extended a hand. Using the support I quickly climbed into the vehicle as the door was shut back harshly.
Changed:: Taking a deep breath I darted towards the car utilizing all the might left in me . I door shot open and a hand extended in front of me which happened to be ......... Amara's . Using up the support , I quickly climbed up the vehicle as the door behind me shut down harshly.

Original:: I begin firing questions at her
Changed:: I started bombarding her with my curiosity.

Original :: Checking everywhere I finally found it lying in the backseat. I answered the call as a man spoke through the other line.
 Changed :: Panicky I checked around to find it at the backseat . As I answered the person other side spoke .

Original :: "Ivano...Damiana was with someone." The phone was handed to Jake. He was the head of the security. I had given him this task all these years before when Damiana went missing after an attack.
Changed :: "Ivano , Damiana ........... was with someone " said Jake, the head of the security and the one given the task all these years since Damaina went missing after the attack.

Original :: She was with a girl , a teenager at that
Changed :: She was with a girl . A teenager to be more precise.

Original :: Unless it was an emergency, she usually didn't show up.
Changed :: She usually doesn't show up unless it's an emergency

These were some of the most visible mistakes or changes

Advice:: Recheck the dialogues before publishing once . There were tense and voice errors