Bluebell Review Chamber [CLOSED]

જ Too Sick With Too Love જ ☾ Carmi ☽

Book Title: Too Sick With Too Love

Author: Sxlly_Gxrl

Reviewer: Read-aholic2006

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Cover: 4/5

I like the placement of your title; it's different, maybe even daring. I would have shifted that beautiful quote to the bottom of your cover where there is more space. The contrast between your font and background colour allows your text to stand out. I also love the image, although I'm surprised it's not a black rose.

Title: 4/5

Although poetry is a rebellious genre that ignores many rules, I must point out that your title is grammatically incorrect (It should be, Too Sick with Too Much Love). And as someone who despises such errors, it bothers me. However, that's a personal problem and I understand that this mistake must have been deliberate.

Blurb: 4/5

Although I find your blurb to be rather vague, the lyrical style is intriguing and beautifully represents the poetry genre. However, your collection doesn't contain 10-word poems, but those with 20 words.

Creativity/originality: 5/5

It's difficult to carve your own signature on your own writing, making it unique, but you managed to do so. Your creativity will be discussed further in this review.

External Structure (Formatting/Rhyme/Rhythm): 10/10

I find it highly impressive that you're able to maintain consistency throughout all your poems. They're all written in free verse and comprise two lines that both contain exactly ten words. Each poem starts with "And I" while its last line starts with "But still". It's reasonably difficult to adhere to such a fixed structure, but you achieved great success. Also, the font you used is aesthetically pleasing.

Internal Structure (Imagery/Language/Diction): 10/10

You have a very unusual and polished vocabulary (pseudanthium, moribund, insensate, throes...). It's always refreshing to be exposed to a series of new and interesting words. You mostly use a tone of grief, agony or gloom throughout your poems, which is clearly reflected in some of your harsh and expressive diction:

And I'll drink letters as poison if you write it in blood.

And I'll drown with skies...

...I'm serene with throes filled.

...my hands have cuts within.

Out of all of your poems, only two of them broke past my surface of perplexity. I had interpreted your fifth poem, "Surviving is just a mere agony word", as follows: When the speaker's sorrow gets too heavy or unbearable, they will metaphorically turn the deceased into poetry (I'll rhyme death with you...). Hence everyone else wonders how the speaker manages to keep her composure while experiencing such indescribable heartache (...they ask why I'm serene with throes filled). This specific poem is something I can relate to, having lost my own father yet having to force myself to persevere and survive, expressing myself through poetry.

The next poem that struck me with the arrow of understanding was your last poem, in which "they" question why the speaker loves someone who is the complete opposite of himself. The speaker compares himself to a black rose—a possible representation of despair, someone who's fallen out of love or shrouded in the shadows of isolation—after which he mentions his love for the colour white—probably symbolizing the person he admires from afar, someone who is everything that he is not, someone who may not notice his beauty.

Writing style/Grammar: 8/10

Your writing style is creative and distinct. However, I found your poems to be quite unfathomable. They're so rich and impassioned that they become poor in meaning. Of course, I can't expect you to simplify your poetry for shallow-minded readers; just be aware of what you write and how you write it so you're able to explain your own work. In terms of grammar, there were a few errors regarding the omission of a preposition and the use of an incorrect article, but those mistakes may have been intentional.

Reading enjoyment: 8/10

If not for my lack of wisdom, I may have given you another two points, but unfortunately, your poems were mostly abstruse. On the other hand, your writing stimulates the brain by forcing readers to furrow their brows and properly scrutinize and dissect the poem.

Overall: 53/60

The depth of your poetry is beyond my analytical skills, but extremely beautiful nonetheless. I'd love to see you grow as a poet because your work is already something that can leave readers in awe. Keep at it.