Bluebell Review Chamber [CLOSED]

જ Oddball # 104 જ ☾Carmi☽

Book: Oddball # 4

Author: RookWri78

Reviewer:  Read-aholic2006

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(Note that this review is merely based on the four available chapters that I had read.)

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Title: 7/10 

 There's not much I can say about it. The word "oddball" involuntarily reminds me of a nerdy, awkward person. But for some reason the "#104" gives me sci-fi vibes. My feelings about the title are at a crossroads, although there's nothing wrong with it. I can't criticize it nor can I give it an excellent round of applause. 

 Cover: 7/10 

 The cover clearly displays the face of an Asian-looking female (she may not be Asian so please excuse me), so readers can immediately infer that she is the MC. I think it was very clever to use a glitch effect on the image as it adds to the modernity and sci-fi feel of the book. Overall, the cover is very plain. Maybe too plain? The storyline seems rather intricate and I find this cover to be a little inadequate. It doesn't quite do justice to the book itself and maybe it needs to display something more revelatory to the plot. Also, the author's name can be enlarged because you can't really see it. 

 Blurb: 10/10 

 I like the start of the blurb: "Mindy McGinnis' The Initial Insult meets Gretchen McNeil's #MurderTrending." It's a bold statement; comparing your own work to that of two published authors raises readers' expectations. 

 After this, readers are immediately introduced to the main plot of the story. Already one sentence vaguely tells us who our MC is, what her goal is and when she must meet that goal. So we have a protagonist, an objective and a deadline. 

 The following paragraphs feed us with a little more information, further opening up the gateway to who our MC is and what she did...or what she will do. 

 The blurb is captivating and revolves around the genre—the words "embedded chip" is easily redolent of the beloved science fiction genre.

Creativity/Originality: 10/10 

 Oh, the creativity is most definitely there. The story is set in the year 2052, so there's all kinds of new technological and scientific advancements—new methods of transportation, hovering drones instead of nosy photographers, the use of lightsticks in a conference to identify each company. The author also thought of her own pandemics with cool names. It's all very clever and well-thought-out. 

 Plot/Flow: 18/20 

 The story starts off in an interesting way...but then in the following chapters the author diverts from what had happened in the introduction to focus more on the present. This is a common method used in almost every book with a prologue, an effective way to progress the plot and push it toward the finale. However, I still want to know exactly what happened to Kit Charoensuk in the first chapter. Was he fired? Dismissed?

 Also, sci-fi genres can be very convoluted due to all the alien concepts and various innovations, which a reader's mind may struggle to comprehend. Hence, due to all this, the author may want to focus more on keeping her readers up to date with this new modern world she has created, introducing them to a few of the inventions (some may not even know what a lightstick is—I sure didn't—so maybe the writer can elucidate the term). There should be a balance between explanations and continuation of the story. 

 Characters: 10/10 

 The characters seem simple enough. I can't tell if our MC is good or bad or morally grey, but I like that uncertainty. It adds a strange layer of distrust and suspense, which just makes her character all the more interesting. Her assistant is the typical submissive underling who cowers under the command of her boss. So great characterization. 

 Writing style/grammar: 6/10 

 I'm very impressed with the author's writing ability. Her prodigious vocabulary effortlessly leaks through her diction as she uses adjectives such as reposing, ellipsoid, pellucid...

There were instances of using incorrect punctuation. For example, in the following sentence, the comma should be removed: "The crowd of guardians observing this from the adjacent rooms, shake their heads in disappointment..."). 

 There was also the use of incorrect hyphenation; the hyphen between the words year and intern should be removed: "Being his sixth day as a first-year-intern..." 

 She also has a habit of using a comma instead of a full stop before a thought or a dialogue sentence: He points a shaky finger at the patient, "He's dying in there." or She crosses her arms, "What's your problem...?"

Also, it's best not to use the & symbol to replace the actual word, unless it's integral to a title of a restaurant or something. 

 I spotted a pleonasm in one of the chapters: Alison crosses her arms across her chest. Simply say: Alison crossed her arms.

 And in some cases, the author also uses a semi-colon instead of a comma. 

 Now let's move on to readability. Many readers may not understand Thai (such as myself), so I appreciate the inclusion of a translation. However, the excessive translations may lead to confusion. The author first gives the direct translation (which looks extremely complicated, a mere tangle of foreign characters I cannot decipher) and then she gives the phonetic translation (which still makes my brain spin on its axis) and finally she gives the translation in plain English. Again, I'm grateful for the various translations, but it's rather unnecessary— 

*Chapter 1, paragraph 19* Either say: Kit scrunches his face into an exaggerated scowl, not able to tolerate this one-hour nuisance anymore. Out of pure anger, his tongue involuntarily switches to Thai... 

Or you can write the character's dialogue in Thai and then after the closed quotation you can add only the English translation in italics. 

 Lastly, try to avoid overusing the word "muse" whenever a character is thinking. There are more synonyms to replace this word. 

 Overall, the writing skills are amazing. I love the imagery and detailed wording. 

 Genre relevance: 10/10

The setting of the story definitely screams science fiction. The genre is perfectly woven into this modern environment.

Reading enjoyment: 8/10 

 I was intrigued and, like I said before, impressed. Wattpad is mainly a platform for amateur authors, so I was almost stunned to read such beautifully crafted work. I also love the sci-fi genre so the very first chapter grasped my attention with little effort. 

 Overall thoughts and extra comments: 86/100 

 The author only has to improve certain aspects of her grammar and tweak a few sentences. This is a great story and her writing is almost flawless. Great work.