Bad Decisions (bwwm) [editing]

T W E N T Y T H R E E

I V Y

Through most the day I stayed with Kimani, we tried to do different things to occupy my mind.

I didn't really wanna hang with the girls either, nothing really is going to cure how I feel, I feel empty.

"Iv, You cant just sleep the day away, eventually you'll need to get up and prosper" Kimani advises but I ignore her.

"I can and I will, watch me" I explain to her while laying back down under the cover and closing my eye.

She finally gives up thankfully adding an annoyed groan before she walks out our dorm closing the door.

There's absolutely nothing that would make me feel better and I'm happy Kimani finally understood that.

Even though I pushed the idea of sleeping the day away I haven't napped since she Kimani left and that was almost 10 minutes ago.

And just when my eyes shut I hear the door open making me groan.

"Kimani if you're back to convince me I shouldn't sleep all day don't waste your time" I mumble in my pillow keeping my eyes shut.

"Why would I be wasting my time?" Alex asks.

"because I'm not getting up" I mumble and he nods slightly before sliding his shoes off.

"i'll just come in then" he tells me laying down next to me.

"How was the day" He asks once's he's comfortably laying under the cover facing me too.

"I slept most the day honestly, I'm just sad" I try to explain without getting too into detail.

"Because you lost your sister?" He asks and I nod.

"Two years ago today, she was in a coma for maybe like a month and then she died this day two years ago" I try to explain without getting teary eyed but I fail terribly.

"How'd she pass" He asks still looking at me in my eye and I can't help but get flustered.

"She um, well she was-" but I choke on my own words feeling too much guilt and embarrassment to explain so instead my eyes start watering.

"You don't have to talk about it anymore I know it must be hard" He stops me moving his hand up to my cheek to wipe the incoming tears.

"I just miss her so much" I unfortunately start bawling, feeling my tears rush down my face and the throbbing in the back of my throat.

I hate crying in front of people, I am an emotional crybaby but just a crybaby that hates to cry in front of people.

Alex doesn't say anything he just pulls me into his chest letting me use his shirt as a tissue while I cry.

"You alive?" He asks after I go silent after a while.

"Yeah" I sound muffled under his shirt.

"Okay, let's go" He sits up getting ready to go somewhere but I just furrow my brows.

"I want to go to eat, let's get brunch" He tells me and I shake my head.

"I look terrible, I feel terrible, and I just wanna sleep" I explain to him and he shakes his head.

"No" What? No? What the hell is that supposed to mean huh?