Bad Decisions (bwwm) [editing]

S E V E N T Y T W O

I V Y

Shock, pure shock.

I was expecting him to say he killed her by accident not that he loved the girl and she was just taking advantage of that.

I have nothing to say I'm just shocked.

We've been sitting in silence for almost five minutes because I refuse to speak.

Tears are literally rushing down my face and I'm trying my best the conceal it but I can't, I'm so hurt for him.

The first time he see's her just had to be at my house with me being nice to her when I should have just been beating her ass.

"Alex do you want me to beat her ass?" I have to ask, I just wanna know.

"Honestly Iv, that would make me feel a lot better" He laughs.

I'm still playing in his hair, I love playing in it.

"Is that why you only liked redheads and blondes?" I have to ask.

"Yeah, I mean they just reminded me of her but I wouldn't only get with redheads or blondes. You aren't my first black girl Ivy, I've been with others before I just haven't been in a relationship with one because well I've only been in two relationships one including you" I forget that he's a walking red flag sometimes.

"I was with Jessica a couple of months after because I could be sexual with her and she always changed her hair between red or blonde, she reminded me of Sarah and even if I hated her I missed her at the time."

"I outgrew it though, once I got to college I was all over the place, sex was like a drug or a coping mechanism but now there's you" I could say the same, except it was alcohol for me.

"Is that why kissing wasn't something you preferred?"

"Yeah, I would kiss I didn't care it was just hard sometimes because It always reminded me of where I learned it from.

When I kiss you I just think of how
much I love you. You've changed everything for me Ivy" He shifts a little turning to me so we're facing each other.

"You're crying?" I'm not.

"No, It's humid in here" Shit lie I know I know, I just wipe under my eyes trying to play it off.

"Ivy don't cry, please" He grabs my face wiping my eyes.

"It was a sad story, it made me sad" He just smiles a little at my franticness.

"Ivy stop crying" He gives me kisses on my face and I suck it up.

"Enough of the sappy shit now" He adds kissing me on my lips.

He's sad one minute then sloppily kissing me the next, I'm getting whiplash.

He pulls me closer to him by my ass, pushing me right on top of him.

In the moment it feels nice but then I slightly pull away.

"Don't you think it's like, bad to have sex after being so vulnerable, I don't want to do it with you and make you feel some way or regret it while you're still sad" Shower sex would kill but if he's still upset I don't want to do anything with him.

"Iv, I think you're more sad than I am right now" That may be true, it's just really sad.

"Let's just not have sex right now, not till you're done crying, I just wanna kiss you" My arms are wrapped around his neck while he's just staring at me.

"Okay sure," I shouldn't have agreed to that though.

We've just been kissing, slow and sloppy kissing in a soapy tub that is lukewarm warm now. Now I'm the horny one.