Bad Decisions (bwwm) [editing]

F O R T Y S E V E N

A L E X

"This is exactly why I didn't want to come to this because you guys aren't fucking normal in the least bit" I stand up yelling at them once Ivy storms off.

"Watch your languag-" My dad start starts but I cut him off.

"Bullshit, You didn't tell Alexis to stop when she was being stereotypical and disrespectful to Ivanna, She doesn't deserve that not from me, not from you and especially not from any of you" I look at Alexis then around the whole table.

"I don't get why you're going so hard for someone who's just a friend" Jayden adds in and I glare at him.

"I respect my friends, I dont have to be romantically involved with her to be respectful and not let anyone else disrespect her, its just what friends do" But he laughs at me and I tilt my head.

"You didn't respect me enough to tell me you and Ivy were fucking after her and I stopped" Here he goes bringing up the past again.

"How old are we? I dont need to alert you anytime I decide I want to mess around with someone new" I can't help but yell.

"Oh so shes a slu-" but of course I have a short temper and like I always do I have a bit of a white boy meltdown so I slam my fist on the table.

"I swear to god Alexis say one more thing about her and I will fucking-" But my mom cuts me off.

"Enough!" She shouts and we all look at her.

"I just wanted to eat dinner and enjoy time with my family but every year its something new, Alexis you need to learn not to speak if nothing that comes out your mouth, what you said was absolutely not okay and you need to remember that you're unemployed still living under my money and it just takes one click for me to put you out, broke, and on your own and Alex im sorry this family couldn't get it together for your girlfriend, if you find Ivy tell her I apologize" My mom looks at me genuinely.

"You must really like her" Andrew mumbles before standing up.

"Is that not fucking obviously? Yes I do really like her and i'm trying not to scare her away but you guys are doing a pretty fucking great job yourselves"

I V Y

I cried, just a little, outside in their huge backyard.

I hate crying it always made me feel weak, but I have even more when other people see me cry.

I think I cried because I felt alone, im used to fighting my own battles and standing up for myself because when you're a black woman it's almost like the world is against you.

However, I had that twinge of hope that Alex would defend me, that he'd open his mouth and tell his sister off.

And yeah he did speak up but it wasn't enough for me.

Yes i'm strong, yes im independent, but i'm tired, im so fucking tired of defending myself and I couldn't of helped but hoped Alex would have said something.

That for once I could just sit there and have someone defend my name and honor, that I won't have the guilt and embarrassment after getting upset and defending myself.

But yet here I am sitting in a backyard crying because I'm so sick of fighting and having everyone else see me as the crazy one when i'm asking for basic respect.

"Ivy?" I hear a voice and when I turn I see Andrew, obviously it's embarrassing to be caught crying so I quickly wipe my eyes when he walks over.

"Ivy, I would just want to personally say I'm sorry, My family- well most of them are terrible people, I barely even come here, and when I do it's for my mom because she tries so hard to keep the family together, Same with Alex, he hates it here and I don't blame him" He stops and looks at me but continues after.

"He really likes you Ivy, and even though he may not be the best at communicating that, or he acts shitty, he does and I mean when you left the table he practically yelled at everyone an-" But I stop him there, he's not seeing the problem.

"When I left the table" I repeat to him and he squints.

"Huh?"

"He said something when I left the table but when I was there he was silent, I don't care about what he said when I was gone, It only mattered to me that he defended me when I was there, when I was in the room, so I could feel less shitty about speaking up for myself, So for once I could finally have someone make me feel a little less crazy when I'm just asking for basic needs" I try my best to explain how I feel.

"Ivy Im Sorry" Alex walks up to us but my immediate defense is to look away from him and ignore him.

"I'll leave you two" Andre mumbles getting up and walking out.

"Ivy look, my family is shitty, but I go to these things for my mom and I wanted moral support I didn't think it would go this bad" Bullshit.

"You knew how your family was, I don't want to hear your excuses, I don't wanna talk about it anymore forget it" I start to stand up and find my way back into his house but he wraps his arm on my waist and pulls me back to face him.

"Ivy, you have to communicate with me, tell me what i'm doing wrong so I understand and i'll never do it again, you can't get mad at me then avoid and ignore me leaving me to do drastic things just to get you to speak to me again, that'll just lead to a toxic endless cycle and honestly Ivy I don't want that for us, like I said when you were passed out on the bathroom floor, I can't loose you, and i'm not loosing you to something you can communicate with me about" His hand is still on my waist but he's staring me deep in my eyes.

"Was the race jokes not communication enough? I felt uncomfortable. I felt stereotyped. I felt like crap. And you did the bare minimum when I wanted more. I expected more. l hated that you tried to tell me to wait when I wanted to leave" I tell him and he nods signaling to me that he's listening.

"Well Im apologizing to you on behalf of my family and i'm also apologizing because I made you feel as I couldn't be the one that you could count on to defend you, Im sorry that I made you feel worse and like I was judging you for speaking up for yourself, Im sorry that I let anyone even make you feel the tiniest bit less of yourself because you absolutely aren't, I'm promising you that I'll do better" He pulls me closer and I stare right back into his eyes as he speaks.

"I don't want you to promise to do better, I want you to do better. I swear to god Alexander if I have to deal with something like this ever again we're done" I assert myself.

I'm not questioning if what he said is genuine or not because I believe it is, before words can even form out my mouth i'm kissing him.

Enjoying the skin to skin and lip to lip contact as we kiss intensely letting his tongue take in mine.

"Well do you forgive me?" He asks breaking the kiss.

"No" I shrug kissing him again.

A/N: I edited up this chapter too because well, i didn't like how it was written obviously, it was very almost like tone deaf lol.

anyways i hope you guys are all thriving and striving like the sexy baddies you are, I realized I hit 20k and i'm #1 on enemies to lovers and i just wanna say thank you for reading this chicken scrap ass book.

i appreciate all of you sexy baddies and feel free to dm me if you ever wanna talk or anything, im not having a hot gworl summa because i'm a homebody and new york heat is no fucking joke, so imma say my lil black ass inside and read and write, and maybe occasionally shake my ass on a yacht in Dubai.

But in all seriousness thanks for reading and I love all of y'all <3333!