Bad Decisions (bwwm) [editing]

S E V E N T Y F I V E

I V Y

I was in my funk for ten more hours until Kimani yelled at me.

She told me everyone is disappointed because of my absence and she said Iris would be disappointed in me.

I wanted to yell at her because she knows that was a harsh blow to the face, however, she was right.

Iris would have yelled at me, she probably would have been so disappointed she wouldn't have wasted her breath.

So the first thing I did was clean my side of my room then I got ready for practice.

I agreed to try my dad's coaching on top of Daisy's coaching meaning now I'm on a diet and I barely have enough free time to think because my dad makes me workout any moment I'm free.

I've been doing this for only three days though. Today makes the fourth.

I haven't seen Alex in a long time and I know it's not for the best either.

When he was dumping my sappy ass I felt like I couldn't move or speak. I could only sob and wish there was something better going on.

Sometimes I lose myself, it's a habit. It isn't Alex's fault though.

I mean he thought I'd be scared of him because his father kills people for a living.

I could care less, I mean I helped Alex hide a body he tortured.

I think I was more so in shock because I played a role in a murder. As much as anyone wants to say I didn't directly do anything I gave them the reasoning and the motive behind the murder.

I think I was stressed about that in the moment. What really pushed me deeper into my funk was the fact that all the evidence was wiped and now that Alex and I aren't together I have to start from scratch.

It's okay though, I've been doing meditation and it actually helps. I feel like I'm going to snap any second because I'm practically starving myself and living off an almond just for the approval of my father but meditation keeps me sane.

This feels like those rom-coms where after the biggest climax they have a one-month time jump where life is better and the main girl finds her peace and realizes he wasn't the one.

However, this isn't a rom-com, this is my life and I'm going to get my boyfriend back whether he likes it or not.

I've been trying to land the flip for hours but nothing still, I'm doing something wrong.

"Ivy come on, you can do it, I know it's been four days since you started that diet but I'm happy you did, I'm proud of you"

I'm proud of you.

Words I've wanted to hear all my life.

That scrambles me up because now all I can think about is him being proud of me for the first time in my life.

I leave training with my father a little bit early because now I have business to handle.

I'm going somewhere I shouldn't but it's because Alex is so adamant that he ruined everything when it was my choice.

The drive there is fast, even walking in is fast and fine too.

He's in his office and that's the first place I go.

"Funny seeing you here" He smiles when I storm into his place.

"You made me lose my boyfriend" Maybe he wasn't the root cause but he helped.

"I didn't make you do anything Ivy, you came to me remember?" He's getting angry with me, I love when his father gets angry. It may be some type of sadistic thing but seeing the big bad boss get pissed just from me speaking makes me feel good.