Beavis & Butt-Head Do Gotham

Chapter 49

Beavis and Butt-Head are seen watching TV, when an ad for a patent company comes on.

TV Spokesperson: Doesn't it seem like everything you could ever imagine has already been invented? Like there's absolutely nothing new out there! Well, the truth is someone out there is going to invent the next big thing.

Butt-Head: Uh huh huh huh. "Big thing". Uh huh huh huh huh.

Beavis: Heh heh heh. Bo-o-o-o-o-o-o-ing!! Heh heh heh heh.

TV Spokesperson: Do you have an idea for an invention? Something new that fills a need?

Butt-Head: Uhh, no. Uh huh huh.

TV Spokesperson: If you do, call this number, for help patenting and marketing your idea. Whatever it is, don't be afraid that it's quote "too stupid to succeed". So go ahead and call! The fresh new idea you have could be your ticket to millions of dollars!

Butt-Head: Whoa! Millions of dollars?! That's cool! Uh huh huh huh.

Beavis: Yeah! Money! MONEY!! Heh heh heh.

Sometime later, Beavis and Butt-Head are trying to figure what they can invent, even though they've been sitting on the couch for a while now.

Beavis: Come on, Butt-Head! Hurry up! Invent something! Heh heh heh heh.

Butt-Head then slaps him

Butt-Head: Shut up, Beavis, YOU invent something, and it better make us millions of dollars, or I'll kick your ass! Uh huh huh huh.

Beavis: Ok, umm, let's see. Heh heh.

He mutters under his breath for a moment as he tries to think.

Beavis: Umm, this is hard! Heh.

Butt-Head: Uhh, I think he said we're supposed to, like, invent something that fills a need, or something. Uh huh huh.

Beavis: Umm, we NEED to score. Heh heh heh.

Butt-Head: Yeah, but we've, like, tried everything. Uhh, let's see, what do we need? Uh huh huh.

For a moment, they look around their house for something they need, but to no avail.

Butt-Head: Uhh, I guess we have everything we need right here. Uh huh huh huh.

Beavis: Maybe there's something we can invent outside. Heh heh heh.

Soon after, they're walking around the city and come across a park employee chopping wood at the park.

Beavis: Umm, heh, I know! Let's invent a tree! Heh heh.

Butt-Head: Beavis! Uh huh huh.

He gets ready to smack Beavis.

Beavis: See, we could build one out of lumbers and two-by-fours and stuff, then we could, like, tape some leaves-

Butt-Head finally smacks him

Beavis: OW!! See that way, anyone who needs wood, but doesn't want to cut down the tree, can just, like, buy our tree and cut it down, then-

Butt-Head smacks him again.

Beavis: OWWW!!!

Butt-Head: Why wouldn't he just go cut down the tree, dumbass?! Now, quit wasting time! We need to come up with a real money making invention. Uh huh huh.

They continue walking until they stop at their apartment complex. He begins to scratch his back with a back-scratcher. Beavis then begins to scratch his butt, which catches Butt-Head's attention, and after about ten seconds of contemplation, Butt-Head has an idea!

Butt-Head: Whoa! Beavis, I have just seen the next big thing that will save all mankind. Uh huh huh huh.

Beavis: Uhh, what? Heh.

Butt-Head: We're going to be rich! Uh huh huh huh.

Back at their place, Butt-Head is seen with a wire clothes hanger.

Beavis: Come on, Butt-Head, hurry up! What's your invention? Heh heh.

Butt-Head then begins to twist the clothes hanger around in different shapes, some rather bizarre to his and Beavis' imaginations, until Butt-Head's invention is finally finished.

Butt-Head: Beavis, say hello to the Butt-Scratcher 3000! Uh huh huh huh. Uh huh huh huh.

Beavis: Whoa! Does it really work?! Cause I can use one of those! Heh heh heh heh.

Butt-Head: It's not for you, dumbass! If we're going to get rich, we need some other dumbass to buy it. Uh huh huh.

Beavis: Oh, yeah. Maybe after we get rich, I'll buy one. Heh.

Later, we find Beavis and Butt-Head going door-to-door in the building with their invention, starting with their landlord.

Butt-Head: Sir, what if I told you I had an invention that could change your whole life? Something that could put a smile on your butt. Uh huh huh huh.

Beavis: Yeah, you know, just because you can't see your bunghole doesn't mean you should ignore it. Heh heh heh heh.

Landlord: Dammit, you idiots! That ain't nothin' but a wire hanger!

Butt-Head: Uhh, it's the Butt-Scratcher 3000, asswipe! Uh huh huh huh.

The landlord slams the door in their faces. Later, they showed off their "invention" to one of their neighbors, but everytime, they slammed the door, not wanting to buy their stupid invention. Then, they decided to try in other places, starting with the GCPD.

Harvey: Five bucks for a hanger? How stupid do you think I am?!

Butt-Head: Uhh, well, let me ask you this: do you think your butt is stupid? Uh huh huh huh.

Later, at Wayne's Mansion.

Alfred: Boys, that's just a wire hanger. You know it, I know it, now get the hell out!

Later, at the Narrows, where the Riddler has his own deadly game show, Ed didn't say anything, but instead, throws them out. And finally, back at their apartment and went to their landlord again.

Butt-Head: Let me ask you a question, sir. Is your butt important to you? Uh huh huh huh.

The landlord snaps, grabs their invention and starts beating them it.

Landlord: What?! Dammit!! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, YOU DAMN SON OF A BITCHES!! DAMMIT!!

He chases them off. Beavis and Butt-Head decide to head home.

Beavis: So, like, uhh, what do we now? Heh heh.

Butt-Head: Uhh, I don't know. Let's just, like, go watch TV and let some other dumbass come up with the next big thing. Uh huh huh huh.

Beavis: Yeah. Dammit! Let somebody else do something for a change! I'm sick and tired of having please everybody! Heh heh heh.

Back at their place, they're seen watching TV again.

Butt-Head: Whatever the next big thing is, it better not suck! Uh huh huh.

Beavis: Yeah, really. Heh.

Suddenly, a commercial with porn style music comes on.

Beavis: WHOA!! CHECK IT OUT, BUTT-HEAD!! HEH HEH HEH HMM.

Butt-Head: Whoa! Hey, Beavis. I think I know what the next big thing is. It's in my pants! Uh huh huh huh. Uh huh huh huh.

Beavis: Oh, yeah! B-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ing!!