Butt-Head shows the newspaper to Beavis.
Beavis: Whoa! Heh. It says it'll pay $200 a day! That's like,...uh...$1000 in five days, or something? Heh heh heh.
Butt-Head: Cool! Uh huh huh. We're there dude! Uh huh huh huh.
The scene now cuts to an newspaper building, and there's the duo and a bunch of young, inspiring journalist listing to their editor.
Newspaper Editor: People, you're all here for one reason. You signed up for the newspaper for the salary, and for your high school or college credits.
Beavis: Hm heh. That part is true. Heh heh heh.
Newspaper Editor: Now, here are your assignments. Jass, economy.
Butt-Head: Uh huh huh huh. "Ass". Uh huh huh huh. Uh huh huh huh.
Beavis: Heh heh heh. Heh heh heh heh.
Newspaper Editor: Butkis, entertainment.
Butt-Head: Uh huh huh huh. "Butt Kiss". Uh huh huh huh. Uh huh huh huh.
Beavis: Heh heh heh. Heh heh heh heh.
Newspaper Editor: Beavis, Butt-Head, sports.
Butt-Head: Cool! Uh huh. We're gonna do a story about the cheerleaders. Uh huh huh huh.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah! Hm heh heh heh.
Newspaper Editor: Actually, your assignment is on football. This Saturday's a big game coming.
Butt-Head: Uhhh...but we don't, like, know anything about football? Let alone play or watching it? Uh huh huh huh.
Newspaper Editor: Just write what you see.
It now cuts to Beavis and Butt-Head leaving the room, and walking towards the exit and into the streets.
Beavis: This sucks! I wanna write about the cheerleaders! Heh heh heh.
Butt-Head: Me too. Uh huh huh.
The two boys are here at the field, we're they're watching the football team practicing. They sit at the benches.
Beavis: So, um? This dude said to write what we see? Heh heh heh.
Butt-Head: Uhhh...I think so? Uh huh huh. What do you see? Uh huh huh huh.
Beavis looks at the team.
Beavis: Um? I see some guys on top of each other, fighting over a ball. Heh heh heh heh.
Butt-Head: Uh huh huh huh. Let's write that down. Uh huh huh huh.
They begin to write everything what they see. A few hours later, at the newspaper station, the editor began to read their peace out loud while playing jazz music.
Newspaper Editor: At the snap, Dean busted through the tight end, squirting into the backfield and wrapping up the muscular quarterback from behind. [everyone in the room started to feel aroused and turned on, hardly control themselves by listing to the editors smooth, Berry White like tone in his voice while reading this erotic peace.]. Pounding him hard deep into the ground before he could get it off. Another touch sack.
He finally finished, and wipe a teardrop away from his eye. He turns to Beavis and Butt-Head.
Newspaper Editor: Now, that is how you cover football practice. I can't wait to see what you two do with your next assignment. Great work, you two.
Butt-Head: Uh huh huh huh. Cool! Uh huh huh huh.
Beavis: Yeah! Heh heh heh. We just wrote what we saw, just like you said. Heh heh heh.
Newspaper Editor: Well, it's the most sensual piece of writing I've ever come across. And I've COME across a lot of sensual writing. Eh?
Butt-Head: Uh huh huh huh. He said "Come" Uh huh huh huh. Uh huh huh huh.
Beavis: Heh heh heh heh. Hm mm heh heh heh.
Newspaper Editor: [laughs] Oh, you boys crack me up.
Later that evening, the boys we're at a Korean restaurant, eating.
Beavis: So, um, what do we right now? Heh heh heh.
Butt-Head: Uhh...[he holds a paper where it shows the list of assignments the editor has given them]. A bunch? Uh huh huh huh.
Beavis: Damn! This will take forever! Why did he give us so much work? Heh heh heh.
Butt-Head: Cause he like, likes are work so much, that he wants us to write more. Plus, he said he'll pay us more then $200 for each work we've done. Uh huh huh huh.
Beavis: Cool! Heh heh. Will be rich! Heh heh heh heh.
Butt-Head: Yeah! Uh huh. Come on Beavis, our readers await us. Uh huh huh huh.
They both leave the restaurant with out paying, which the restaurant owner is none to pleased about and he began to yell at them. Days later, the duo write numerous articles about almost everything in erotic form.
(sensual music plays) Newspaper Editor: [shows people in line for the blood drive at the community center]. People arrive with bulging purple veins, eager for release. [this guy is laying on the chair-bed thing, having his blood drawn]. [next, two professors writing equations to find the latus rectum on the board ]. They study the supple curves of a parabola to find where the latus rectum is. [shows two people, practicing fencing]. During practice, they touch their counterparts lightly in the chest with only the tip. [shows three men, baking pastries, with one man filling the jelly in the triangle, and taste it with an exotic look on his face]. They boys pump sweet jelly into the triangle, careful not to overfill it's delicate folds. Now the Hamantaschen is ready for Passover.
The editor was laying in his bathtub when he was reading the paper with the lights off, except for six candles right beside him.
Newspaper Editor: Cum laude. Cum REAL LAUDE.
He slips under the water, letting the newspaper float.
Since then, everyone started to feel aroused and starts making out and having sex with their partners, some even strangers in various places, even in public, with a bunch of newspapers all over the floor.
Newspaper Editor: Circulation is up, and the princeton review just named us "Horniest newspaper in all of Gotham".
Butt-Head: Uh huh huh huh. He said "horniest". Uh huh huh huh.
Beavis: Heh heh heh heh. Hm mm heh.
Newspaper Editor: Beavis, Butt-Head, here's your pay day.
Butt-Head: Yes! Uh huh huh huh.
Beavis: YES! Heh heh heh heh.
The duo walk towards the editor to collect their pay. They opened the envelops, and their eyes we're widened.
Butt-Head: Whoa!. Check it out! Uh huh huh huh.
Beavis: Heh. Cool! Heh heh heh. We can finally get our cable back! Heh heh heh.
Butt-Head: You dumbass! Uh huh. We can, like, get a bigger TV. Uh huh huh huh.
Beavis: Oh yeah. Heh heh heh heh.
The next scene cuts to them, sitting on the couch, watching porn on their new, flat screen TV that they've bought with the money that they've got from writing the newspaper.
Beavis: Heh heh heh. This is cool! Heh heh heh. Heh heh heh.
Butt-Head: Yeah! Uh huh. Free porn rules! Uh huh huh huh. Uh huh huh huh.
أنت تقرأ
Beavis & Butt-Head Do Gotham
الأكشنBeavis and Butt-Head were sent to Gotham as punishment for wrecking Their school again. How were the characters of Gotham would reacted to their arrival?
