Kookiemonster (smut/sad)

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Jungkook were lying in bed sleeping in the dorm. He was sleeping heavy as he felt someone crawl into his bed. He knew who it was and what was about to happen. He knew it was wrong but he didn't seem to have the strength to stop it. That's what happends when you fall in love with someone and that's the only way you can be with them.
He felt Rap Monsters hands on his stomach at the same time as the smell of alcohol hit him. Rap Monster was very drunk and very horney. Jungkook could already feel his member pressing against himself. Rap Monster turned Jungkook around and caught his lips with his. The kiss was sloppy but it made the butterflies in Jungkook's stomach go crazy. Rap Monsters hand ran down Jungkook's body and down to his member. He touched and stroked it until Jungkook was hard while his lips worked on Jungkook's neck. Rap Monster hovered over Jungkook and took his hand out only to pin Jungkook's hands over his head. Jungkook hated himself for loving this. Rap Monster would always do this when he was drunk, only J-Hope knew it and he had promised he wouldn't let it happen but it was hard when he was in love with Rap Monster. The older didn't seem to remember that they'd done it the day after but there was always a little hope he would remember.
Rap Monster kissed Jungkook's lips again roughly. He took his own shirt off before taking Jungkook's off. He kissed Jungkook's stomach before taking both of their remaning clothes off. Rap Monster found the lube and put a lot on his own member before he put some on his fingers and one by one stuck one in Jungkook's entrance. Jungkook arched his back and moaned. When Rap Monster thought it was enough he took his fingers out and replaced them right away with his hard member. Jungkook grabbed the sheets as Rap Monster was thrusting fast. Both of their moans filled the room in an instant. Jungkook began moaning louder when Rap Monster took a hand to his member and moved it quickly.

"Schh baby. Don't let the others hear you." Rap Monster said in a very sloppy voice. Jungkook's stomach tighten up by the mention of the word 'baby' and he tried keeping his moans down.

"Awh baby you're so good." Rap Monster moaned and Jungkook couldn't take it. He came moaning Rap Monsters name. The older came by hearing the other moan his name. Rap Monster pulled out and admittedly fell asleep next to Jungkook. Jungkook was breathless and the feeling he hated the most hit him. Sadness. Knowing that it didn't mean anything. Knowing it wasn't right. He fell asleep with a tear rolling down his cheek.
When he woke up Rap Monster was still asleep. He got dressed and sneaked out to the kitchen where the person he least wanted to meet was. J-Hope could always tell what happend, Jungkook didn't know how but he did.

"Jungko-" J-Hope started but Jungkook cut him off.

"Don't say it. I know I shouldn't have let it happen. I know it's wrong. I-just love him so much and I can't stop it." Jungkook said tears streaming down his face. He felt terrible, like there was a hole in his heart. J-Hope hugged Jungkook tightly as he cried into his shoulder.

"Schh it's going to be okay." J-Hope said trying to comfort him. "Listen everytime we know he's gonna go out drinking, you're sleeping in my room."

"No that's not the problem. The problem is I love him and he dosn't love me. He dosn't remember us doing it and I feel like I'm using him to please myself." Jungkook said crying.

"No you are not the one using him. Listen he's the one getting drunk and coming home pushing you to have sex with him, knowing you can't say no." J-Hope said. He was angry at Rap Monster for doing such thing.

"He's not pushing me. He just lay down and kiss me. I kiss him back, I'm not saying no so he dosn't use me. Besides he dosn't remember." Jungkook said and pulled away from J-Hope. They were getting mad at each other. J-Hope wanted to protect Jungkook but Jungkook only thought about defending Rap Monster.

"Do you really think he dosn't remember? He wakes up in your bed naked. He can see you've been using lube. Why do you think he's extra nice to you whenever you've done that? Because he feels guilty! He knows he's doing it and he know is not right!" J-Hope said raising his voice slightly. Jungkook was mad because in the end he knew it was true.

"What can I do then? I don't want it to stop beacause I love him and that's the only way I can feel like he might like me! It's pathetic I know that and it's wrong, I know that too. But no matter how much I try to tell myself that it needs to stop, I know at the end of the day when he crawls into my bed again I'm going to let it happen." Jungkook said angry.

"I don't want to see you get hurt!" J-Hope said "It hurts seeing you be sad the day after. It hurts knowing that is happening. If you're not going to talk to Rap Mon I will. This right here needs to stop!" J-Hope said.

"Don't you dare it's none of your business! You're saying Rap Mon knows and I know so what the hell is wrong?" Jungkook said properly waking up the entire dorm.

"The problem Jungkook is you're in love with him so he uses that as a fact to have sex with you when he's drunk because he knows you won't say no." J-Hope lowered his voice and added "I'm sure he dosn't mean to hurt you and I know is the alcohol that's making him do it because I see how bad he feels about it but no matter how much you try to convince yourself that is okay, it'll never be okay."

"I don't care." Jungkook said and lowered his head.

"You should. Hobi is right about everything he just said." They both looked at Rap Monster who stood in the door. Jungkook felt embarresed.

"I think you guys should talk." J-Hope said and left the room. Rap Monster gestured for Jungkook to sit down and so they both did.

"Listen I'm not going to lie, I heard every word you guys said. So don't interrupt me when I say this okay?" Rap Monster asked and Jungkook nodded. "I'm sorry I cause you so much emotionel pain, I don't mean to. What we're doing isn't right. I do know you love me and when I'm drunk I just can't see it's wrong. I wish you would stop me because I feel like shit when I wake up and realise what I've done to you. This morning when I heard you were talking I made a promise to myself, I'm never going to get so drunk I can't control it because I hate myself when I am. Again I am so sorry about this. I've been using you and I don't think I can forgive myself. I promise it's never gonna happen again." Rap Monster finished. Jungkook's feelings were mixed. He was somewhat happy it was over because it was hard emotionel for him but he felt bad since he thought it was the last time he would ever feel Rap Monsters lips on his own.

"I don't want you to feel bad. I should have stopped it. We're both to blame. I guess I just love you too much and you don't love me." Jungkook said a tear escaping his eye. Rap Monster reached over the table and took Jungkook's hands.

"I won't lie. I don't love you as much as you love me. I wish I did but I don't. Not right now. But that dosn't mean I don't have any feelings for you at all. There's a reason I wanted to do it with you not just because I knew I could but because I wanted to. If you want and only if you want I like to take you on a proper date and fall in love in you in the same way you love me because I know in my heart I have the same feelings, they just haven't come out yet because all of this has been going on. I want to have an actual relationship with you someday." Rap Monster said and cared Jungkook's cheek.

"I would like that." Jungkook said and smiled slightly.

"Okay what about tonight I take you out to eat?" Rap Monster asked as they stood up.

"Sounds great." Jungkook said. Rap Monster smiled and turned to leave. "Wait." Jungkook called. He walked over and hugged Rap Monster tightly because he needed to. Rap Monster hugged back and when they pulled away they were staring in each others eyes. Rap Monster hesitent leaned a little closer and Jungkook ended the space between their lips. The kiss was much better than any other kiss they've ever shared. Their lips worked well together and it suprised them both how good it felt. When they pulled away they were both amazed.

"I-that was amazing." Rap Monster said and something changed in the way he looked at Jungkook.

"Yes it was." Jungkook smiled "I'm going to go take a shower." Jungkook walked away leaving Rap Monster with so many butterflies in his stomach, he could barely breath.

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