Second oneshot book

Doesn't hurt to try~Stenny (South Park.)

I, in fact, do not know how I thought this up or why. But well, an AU where Kenny and Stan are rivals. Why I did this? HOW THE HELL WOULD I KNOW? I'M CONFUSED ENOUGH WITH MY LIFE!
Warnings: Cursing, sort pretty insensitive insults and sexual content (including smut because I'm a teen and a virgin so, fuck my life! I'm pretty sure J can confirm that I always sound like I'm trying to get laid anyway, which I am not by the way, it's my natural voice.)
Ages: 16 both. (Fuck no am I going to make them 18. FUCK YOU, AMERICA AND STUPID CONSENT LAWS!)
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Stan's POV.

"Let me get this straight. You hate Kenny because he is 'annoyingly pretty and too rude for his own good' and you're only obsessed with him because you 'Want to see him get seen as the whore he is for ones'?" Kyle asks.

"Exactly," I say.

"That's so fucking unhealthy. First of all, you're a fucking stalker. Second of all, you clearly have some unresolved sexual tension there," Kyle says.

"Do not! I hate him!" I say.

"Oh I have no doubt you do but you love him as well," Kyle says.

"I could use that about you and Cartman," I say.

"Shut the fuck up, first of all, I have not one but three significant others and I am very asexual. Even if I wasn't, the thought of being with him is absolutely disgusting," Kyle says.

"What says Kenny is different for me?" I ask.

"He's pretty," Kyle says.

"Why won't you go ask him to join your cult?" I ask.

"Not a cult! A relationship!" Kyle says.

I laugh.

"Nope," I say.

"If I hadn't known you since I was like one I would think you are against polyamory. And I don't let people be against it around me, ever," Kyle says.

"Oh shit," he says.

He drags me out of the room to find his boyfriend and... him.

"Leo! Kenny! Nice to see you!" Kyle says.

He hugs both and kisses Leo on the cheek.

"Well, we'll get to finding Bebe and Wendy. Bye!" Kyle says.

"Don't leave me with him!" I yell after him.

"Sorry Dude, you'll be very happy. However, if you still hate each other after I come back, I will slowly murder both of you," Kyle says.

"Will you?" I ask.

"You know me, Dude. You won't want to test that," Kyle says.

He is far gone before I can come up with an answer.

"Oh great, time to write my will," Kenny says.

"Suicidal, McCormick?" I ask.

"Fuck you, Stanley," Kenny says.