Alpha's Troubled Love (BTS Jimin FF)

Reason to live

Y/n POV

I entered through the front door and headed straight to the stairs. As i was about to start climbing up the stairs, i remembered that i haven't got a place to sleep. Last  time i was in Jimin's room but i can't go back there. Stopping in my tracks, i turned around to look at Jimin who was strolling in through the door and we made eye contact. Originally I had planned on saying something about a place to stay but my breath hitched and i had no idea what to say when i looked into his black pearls. This mate pull was truly a headache but at this moment it feel like a blessing. 

Jimin seemed to be the first to snap out of his trance and by the time i had, he was only a few centimetres away from me. I could feel his warm breath on my neck which made the small hairs to stand upright on my back and goosebumps to form on my body. 

"What are you staring at baby?" His voice resonated near my ear as he was now closer than before.

To say i was calm would be a total lie. Its was the first time I had been near a man, apart from family, of my own will without being chained. So having no idea about what to do in a situation like this, i just stood there flustered. Baby?... 

"What's wrong lost your voice? You were very vocal before when you were laughing at me." His voice once again sounded out.

This time,however, i was able to regain my senses to push him away slightly by pressing on his chest, which was well toned, not going to lie. I looked up to his face to see the smirk on his face and it confirmed my suspicions that he was playing with me. HE was teasing ME. This mate of mine was teasing me! No one gets to do that without getting something in return. Guess i will play with him too. 

The game is on.

I looked into his mesmerising eyes and spoke:

"I just wanted to look at my mate?.... Is there something wrong with looking at you?" I pouted and wrapped my arms around his neck bringing us closer. I could see his confused but delighted facial expression. He seemed surprised at my forwardness but was thrilled that i had called him my mate. I continued to pout and tilt my head to the side to whilst looking at him with puppy eyes that Cassie was amazing at. After the amount of times i have seen her do this exact thing back then to me when she wanted something, made me an expert at copying it. I could tell it worked as he seemed as flustered if not more than i was before. 

Step 1 complete. 

"I-i..." Jimin stuttered. I could see the effect I was having on him and for the first time i was happy for the mate bond. Though he too had the same effect on me. A much stronger effect...

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" I moved one of my hands up to his right cheek and caressed it. It was soft and smooth. Not to mention the occasionally jolts of sparks that erupted between our contact. I honestly would have removed my hand if it wasn't for the determination i had to get back at him (and the amazing feel that comes with it). 

Jimin had become more stunned at my boldness and i could see his eyes switching between his chocolatey brown eyes and rosey light pink orbs which meant he felt flustered but a nice flustered. He was enjoying my touch.

Step 2 complete.

I could see his determination to keep his wolf in check. I may have pushed my mate to the end of self control. This may be funnier and more entertaining than I had originally thought. I tried to keep my smirk under control so I could not drop the act just yet. I'm not finished.

I made eye contact with him again and then stared deep into his eyes. His eyes had stopped alternating and were know brown. Much lighter than his original brown but still breathtakingly beautiful. I stopped caressing his cheek but left my hand there. I could see his gaze flicker to my lips and i mimicked the same move but my eyes lasted longer than on his luscious lips. He must have taken that as an invite as he started leaning towards me. I too moved forward whilst moving both my hands up to his cheeks and resting them there.

He came closer and closer...

closer...

 10 cm

9 cm

8 cm

7

6

5

4

3

2

1.......

"OOOOWWWWW!!!" Jimin screeched as i pulled his cheeks horizontally as far as possible. Did he really think i would kiss him? 

I could see he was annoyed and in a lot of pain but all i could see was a scene with an alpha who had red swollen cheeks pouting and i found it hilarious. His fault for trying to kiss and tease me. In all honesty i would have tried to hold in my laugh but I stink at holding in my laughs. 

To my surprise he didn't yell at me or anything. He just stood there whilst i let out all my laughs. I have been laughing a lot these days... It feels weird.. But nice..

"Y-you r-really a-are a p-p-pabo!! I can't b-believe y-you thought I-i would k-kiss you t-this s-soon..."
I carried on laughing at to my surprise Jimin didn't say anything. In fact he just stared at me and smiled? Why was he smiling?

My laughs had quiet down and now were nothing more than a few small, stray chuckles here and now. I had calmed down and I started to feel slightly awkward. He was just staring at me and smiling like he was burning this scene into his memory. 

After an awkward silence of him staring at me and me fidgeting feeling completely uncomfortable. I felt like he was undressing me with his eyes. I decided to do what i was suppose to do in the first place.  

"Erm..Well w-where's my r-room? You said I will s-stay here but i d-don't have a r-room."  I stuttered.

There was a silence for a bit but then he finally spoke up.

"You'll stay in my room for now. Yoongi-hyung is cleaning out a bed room for you." Jimin replied still staring into my eyes.

I nodded my head and ran up the stairs to get away from Jimin. I had forgotten that his room was on the 4th floor and ended up having to sit on the 3rd floor to catch my breath. Im seriously out of shape. I need to ask Jimin if i could go to the training ground.

I ran into Jimins room and it looked completely the same as i had left it. Maybe a bit cleaner but apart from that it was the same. It smelt the same. It smelt like him.I shook my head to get rid off any thoughts that would be detrimental for me. I need to focus. 

I thought back to before and couldn't help blush up at my boost of confidence. It felt like my wolf had taken over yet i was in full control. What was i doing? I pulled my hair and threw my self on the bed. I was so embarrassed. Though i was suppose to get back at him i just embarrassed myself instead. 

One thought came into my mind when i thought about the little ploy from before. Jimin seemed quite reluctant to touch me after teasing me which confused me until I remembered the rules from before. I hadn't notice but a small genuine smile formed on my face and i was truly happy that he respected me. This further seemed to prove that he may have not been the one who killed my pack. He seemed like the respectful and righteous type, one who was matched as my soulmate. 

Though it seemed like so i still didn't want to let him go just yet. Part of me still wanted to believe it was him. Though it may sound crazy i need to believe it was him so i could put the blame and hate him. If i believe it was him then I could keep on living, but if i lose the one reason for living now which was revenge I would have no reason to carry on living. I didn't want to fall in love and then get betrayed anymore. Im tired from it all. I just wanted to live in solitude until i completed what i needed to do. Deep down I knew it wasn't him. I know it. But i need to hate him. I need to direct my anger to something so i can feel alive. I know im broken more than anyone else. But that's who i am now and no one can change that. im a shattered mirror. One that can never be fixed.

 I need to find a reason to live.

And right now my reason to live is revenge.

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TBC

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