Alpha's Troubled Love (BTS Jimin FF)

Decision

------------------------------------------------------------

Warning: Extreme and depressive thoughts

------------------------------------------------------------

Yn POV
Staring up at the ceiling, I let Yoongi's words sink in. 

"Don't make the same mistake I did."

It was no lie that I felt bad for Yoongi and what happened. But could I really believe him to not hurt me? Was what Yoongi said about him protecting me true or was it just a lie? 

With so many questions circling in my head,I was no longer tired.In fact my brain was very active. It didn't want sleep, it wanted an answer.

One thought, rather person, continuously popped into my head. 

Feeling something well up inside of my stomach, I ran through the door closing it behind me. Something wet fell continuously down my face and i stared at the liquid fall in front of me. It was then i realised that I was crying. Again. But I didn't care. It didn't matter to me.

An ache spread across my chest and soon enough my whole body felt like it was in flames. I ran down the stairs, through the kitchen, out the back door to the forest that was now pitch black. No tears refusing to halt even with the scent of the natural world.

How stupid.

What was wrong with me? Crying over someone who cause me extreme pain. I didn't know why it hurt so much when there was nothing between us. 

As much as I hated to admit it, I felt something for that jerk. And I knew my feelings for him would not fade,no matter if i escaped or not, this deprived mate bond would continue to mess with me until death finally comes to consume me. 

I made my way back to my room after drying the constant waterfall of tears that ran faster then ever.

My mistake was trusting him.

See what trust does? It messes with your mind. Trust will betray you mercilessly without any regret, until it makes you learn that you are weak and vulnerable.

I drilled my eyes closed as I stood in the back door of the house. His smell was still attached everywhere in the house, and it was making my heart beat without control. I tightened the strength on my mouth to stop the pathetic whimpers from escaping my mouth. Could I really live with him normally? Be happy? Have a family? Should I trust Yoongi's words?

My feet carried me to my room as I threw myself on to the bed. I was going mad. Mad with all these conflicting emotions in my head. I just wanted it to end. But the only way to end it was to either end myself or the person responsible for it. 

"Jimin..." How amazing his name sounds out of my mouth. I truly was going crazy with desire and it's ridiculous.

This needs to stop.

 I need to stop letting these thing effect me.

This needs to stop,

No this has to stop.

I need to stop all these thoughts. 

I need to sleep....

I can't let these thoughts darken my moral.

Whilst I tucked herself into my bed and laid down to try and sleep, one voice continued to repeat the same word over and over again... 

"I have to kill him.

I have to kill my mate."

--------------------------------------------------------