Chapter 38

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Kora

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Kora.

I let out another really frustrated groan. I was almost starting to cry. I was too embarrassed, and angry with myself, that I was intentionally stopping myself from breathing. At that point, I didn't think I needed to breathe, I felt like death was all I needed. I had spent the entire day staring into my phone, and comparing Jeremiah's Instagram pictures to the actual pictures of the Jeremiah I knew in my phone, and I had come to a conclusion that I was a complete fool. A very, very big fool.

My feet was getting really numb in that bucket, filled with really cold water, but I needed all that cold to not only heal my swollen ankle, but keep my eyes open enough to wrap my head around all I had just found out. The pictures were alike. Maybe a bit different because of the dreadlocks, but how could I have missed it? How could I have not known, or seen the resemblance in his eyes, and his jawline? his voice?! I should have at least known.

How on earth could he take off his dreads, and not tell me? At least if he had, I'd have seen the signs earlier. I wouldn't hate myself so much.

God, just take me now!

I raised my head to the ceiling. I was having a really hard time focusing on anything at that point.
"You're such a fool, Kora."

I hit my head on the table.

"You're such a big fool." I hit by head on the table again. At that point, I just hated myself. I hated myself so much, and that was not just it. I was sure he hated me too, especially since I hadn't exactly acted like a sane person, the few times we met. I could never bring myself to face him now. I hit my head on the table in front of me again, and then again. The door to my room opened, just as I kept my focus on hitting my head on the desk. I didn't care who it was, walking in.

"Jesus Christ." I finally raised my head to the door. It was Grace. I could see the surprise look on her face as her eyes studied the mess I had made in my room. "Kora," she threw her bag on the ground. "Nawa o. What on earth is going on here?" She kicked my bag out of her way, just so she could get to me. I could see the look of surprise on her face, as her eyes met mine. "Madam. What on earth has come over you."

"I think today is the day I'm actually going to kill myself." I told her with my head still up, facing hers. It wasn't a joke.

"Kill yourself-" she paused. "Hold on, hold on." She took another step to the desk. "I noticed you weren't in class today, does it have anything to do with why you're like this?"

"You told me to come to the south east wing. This is all your fault." Now I was making her take the blame for it. "If I hadn't gone there I would not have met him. I'd not have known."

"South east wing?" She frowned. "Kora, why would I ever ask you to come to the south east wing? That part of NAUN belongs to old money. I said North East, sapphire hall, hall fifteen."

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