Chapter 39

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Kora

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Kora

I twirled around, to the other side of my bed, sleep was obviously not on my side. It was really difficult to shut my eyes, even for a second, and I wondered why. Why couldn't I sleep, and why did I keep turning back to my phone, wondering why he had not texted me yet? I turned over yet again, so I could face the ceiling.

What on earth is wrong with you, Kora? What are you thinking?

Grace's words kept on ringing in my head. I wanted to shake it off, but I couldn't. I couldn't help but think she had a point. He deserved to know the truth, to know everything, but the truth scared me so much, and I was almost certain it was going to scare him too. I rubbed my arms at once.

So Jeremiah and Jeremiah were the same people? As crazy as it sounded, I wasn't sure how I felt about it, I wasn't sure I was even disappointed at all. Maybe at a point I had actually wanted them to be the same people, right until he was mean to me repeatedly, but that wasn't all, I also didn't know how to feel about the part where he was engaged.

Engaged.

How on earth did he not tell me? Why? Didn't he think I deserved to know?

You didn't tell him a lot of things too, Kora.

I guess that was what our problem was. Jeremiah and I, we never really talked about our past. We were so focused on getting to know each other, that we had not even bothered to know what exactly was going on in our lives. Not that I could blame him, my past wasn't anything I was proud of, and so it was almost impossible to talk about it. Maybe it was that way with him too, maybe he had a past he wasn't proud of too.

There had to be a reason why he hated getting along with people. Why he was unnecessarily rude and arrogant, and just couldn't care less about anyone or anything.

I kept a lot from him too, my true identity taking the first place on the list, so I couldn't really blame him for leaving the part where he was engaged out. I mean, would I have even wanted to talk to him if I had known he was engaged? Tried to at least know him? I think not.

Besides, just like Grace said, it might just be for politics. Just like I've seen it in movies, and I heard about how rich people don't really care about marriage, and how they got married for all sorts of reasons. Emphasis on all sorts. But did it look like that was their case though? Oma and Jeremiah looked really close, to not think they were in love. I noticed the way he looked at her, and even worse, the way she looked at him. She was in love with him. They were everyone's couple goals. He was all over her instagram, even though he really didn't post much about himself or her, on his Instagram. He barely posted anything at all.

But still, why did I feel uneasy, and so sad, and so upset? I just wish I had known somehow. Why was I feeling this way?

Was I jealous?

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