Quality Time

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Therapy (January 15th)
"Last night, I've had my first nightmare in a while."
"You did?"
"Yeah, and I don't feel too affected by it weirdly."
"What was it about?"
"My assault. I think I've come to terms with it now."
"That doesn't make it any less traumatic." We were playing a board came together, it was really fun, and I managed to stay really calm.
"That's true."
"Do you want to talk about the dream?"
"Not really, only because it's the same dream I had last time, that I told you about. So it's like we already unwrapped the dream you know?" I bit into a chocolate bar and then smiled.
"You know Bella, you've really been maturing lately."
"I have?"
"Yes, you have."
"I don't notice a thing honestly."
**************
A Special Outing (Olivia's Perspective)
"I'm really proud of you honey. You've been getting better with keeping your hair in order, and just overall cleanliness."
"Thanks, I guess." She smiled softly as she watched me get ready for our dinner.
"Mom?"
"Yeah?"
"Is this planned?"
"What?"
"People lately telling me that I'm a young lady and that I'm maturing."
"How in the world could that be planned? That's just simply what happening baby."
"My attitudes changed?"
"Definitely."
"My body hasn't, but I'll be happy about it as you said."
"It takes time."
"Too much time! I wanna experience something new."
"I know you do sugarplum. That's what we're gonna do tonight."
"What are we even going to do tonight?"
"Well, we're going to go out to dinner so we can catch up, the usual."
"Where?"
"That I won't tell you."
"What a pleasant surprise."
"Mom, can I talk to you about something real quick?" I nodded and Bella sat next to me on my bed.
"Lately, I've been feeling kind of weird."
"What type of weird?"
"Like emotional weird, not in a bad way, yet not in a super good way if you know what I mean."
"So then explain it to me love."
"Basically, I keep finding out that..."
"What?"
"That like, guys at my school like me. And it's super weird."
"What's making you feel that way?"
"Because of the attention, I'm not that used to it. I know some people are talking about me, not in a bad way because some people are talking to me more."
"Sticky position?"
"Yes! I mean, I can talk to anyone, I like talking to people, but I don't want it to be because of the boys that think I'm pretty."
"I get it, so you like the people that you are becoming new friends with?"
"I do. Honestly."
"Then you can continue to talk to them, but you can't just make the friendship revolve around these boys, I'm pretty sure there are so many other things you girls can talk about."
"Thanks, Mom."
"No problem." Bella gave me one of her "squishy" hugs and I couldn't help but laugh.
"I can't wait to meet these boys you're telling me about."
"Never!" We went outside and got into the car.
"I'm so hungry, so this better be good Mom."
"Oh trust me, it will be."
"Are we going uptown or downtown?"
"Downtown."
"We're going to Bond? It's been forever!" I smiled and remembered the last time we went.
"Mommy, look."
"What sweetheart?" She showed me her wrist and I smiled widely.
"Did you make it?"
"Yeah, and I made one for you but you're not gonna see it until we get home."
"I think we're getting home really late tonight bud. Sure you won't be tired?"
"No, I won't be!"
"I know, you were so small and innocent."
"I'm still innocent."
"Mostly."
"Fair statement. So, for my thirteenth what's the plan?"
"You tell me." And so we discussed her party, and we discussed that her having a party is not a right but a privilege that could be revoked at any time.
"I like that idea."
***************
Bond 45 (Bella's Perspective)
"How life?"
"It's good. This is probably the best it's been in a really long time. I did have a little bit of a bad day the other day, but I'm doing fine!"
"That's great love."
"Your wedding is soon Mom."
"It is."
"Are you excited? Nervous?"
"I'm very, very excited."
"But, are you nervous Mom?"
"Well, yes. I'm nervous."
"What makes you nervous?"
"The whole day in itself, I want it to be perfect, but I also want you guys to be comfortable and happy, I'm nervous because, at my age, this is the first time I'm making such a big commitment."
"But there's nothing wrong with that Mama."
"You're right, and I want you to know that too. Don't let people pressure you into things like that, okay?"
"Okay."
"My turn isn't it?" I nodded and sipped on my sprite. During our little dates, we take turns asking each other questions, nothing too deep because we're in public.
"Do you have any feelings about the wedding? Are you nervous?" I sort of shuddered and bobbed my head from side to side.
"Would you like to keep it private?"
"Yeah, I don't really wanna talk about that right now."
"Okay, nothing wrong with that, we can talk about it another time."
"My turn, Mom."
"Hit me."
"When and how did you have your first kiss?" I laughed softly and she rolled her eyes.
"I thought we both agreed certain questions wouldn't be asked in public.
"Sorry, it's on my mind. I have another one too."
"Oh no. But, I will say this, I was 14 it was the summer of 9th grade and it was with a boy that I really, really liked."
"That's kind of late."
"Late how missy?"
"Some people are kissing at like ten."
"Well, times were different."
"I can clearly tell.."
"Who's your first kiss?"
"I haven't kissed anyone...yet."
"Have you ever come close?"
"No, I talk to boys, but I don't ever get that close."
"Amanda told me otherwise!"
"Amanda lied!"
"Mom, can we have dessert?"
"Of course, my love. How about we grab a milkshake from Shake Shack?"
"Yes!"
***************
My Bed (Olivia's Perspective)
"It's been a long day."
"How was your date with Bella?"
"Amazing, we had some really good conversations."
"That's amazing babe."
"She asked me something, and I never actually talked about it out loud."
"What?"
"If I was nervous about the wedding."
"Are you?"
"Slightly. I asked her if she had any feelings and she didn't want to share them."
"Does she not feel comfortable?"
"She adores you, sweetie, you're definitely not the problem. I think it's something from within. It's a big change, and I shes being super mature about it, not complaining about anything, she doesn't even want to express her concerns with me."
"Then you guys should talk about it."
"I'll discuss it with her, but not right now. She looked so uncomfortable when I asked."
"But I don't want it to manifest into some negative emotion."
"Baby, it won't. It's probably one of those things she writes in a diary about as a temporary emotion, and then just leaves it be."
"Alright. But I'm glad you two had fun, but what about me?"
"What about you, Elliot?" He smiled and I gave him a very short, but sweet kiss.
"Babe, how was your day with Noah?"
"Great, he was telling me about this girl he really likes."
"Morgan?"
"Yep, he wants to ask her to prom, and stuff like that. You have some really great kids, he's so polite and witty."
"Too witty if I say so myself."
"I'm telling you, Leia's our firecracker. She'll be something when she's older. She's so smart."
"Mommy?" She came in and crawled in between Elliot and I. Snuggling Elliot as I watched.
"Ready for bed?"
"Nope. Let's watch tv!"
"You should be in bed at this time."
"But Elliot, you don't understand me."
"How?"
"I have to watch tv to sleep!"
"Leia, you're too silly. But, you can stay for a little while." She giggled again and then hugged me as the show started. What a great end to a great night.

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