🌟She's Special🌟

Mental Health

Mount Sinai Adolescent Center
I was slightly nervous as I walked down the hall to the consultation, but I knew this was for my best interest. We sat down and talked to Dr. Johansson.
"Pleasure to meet you, Bella, I'm looking forward to getting to know you better." I smiled softly and tapped my leg.
"I've seen your file, but I want to ask you some questions so that I can formulate activities that will work best for you, is that okay?"
"That's just alright." Mom held my hand and I took a deep breath.
"You said you feel very strong feelings of anxiety, can you explain that in-depth for me?"
"Well, when I'm anxious I get really irritated and I don't know why, and I get nauseous and throw up. And my heart feels like it's racing."
"Does this happen periodically?"
"Yes."
"For how long?"
"For days at a time," I admitted with a sigh.
"You've also had recurring symptoms of PTSD these few days as well?"
"Yes."
"And how does that affect your daily life?"
"It prevents me from doing my schoolwork, and I stay away from people."
"Okay, from what I'm hearing now and from what's on your file I've come to a diagnosis."
"Diagnosis?" Mom said.
"Yes. Bella has GAD alongside her PTSD which makes it hard for her to function when she does experience these moments of strong emotion."
"What can we do about it?" I asked quietly.
"Serotonin can be taken, and you can use the techniques that I'll eventually teach you." I nodded and my Mom gave me a kiss.
"Do you journal?"
"Sometimes, I don't do it every single day, but I try to do it a few times a week."
"That's good. Is there anything else that you do that helps you calm down?"
"Painting. It's calming for me. I'm just in another world when I paint. I've been doing that for years." I brought a mini painting with me in my bag today, it helps. Though I was nervous, I was hoping that this would make a difference in my life.
***********
Bike Riding In The Hamptons (Elliot's Perspective)
With Bella's new treatment plan, there were to be more changes. These days, Bella has a tendency to stay cooped up in her room alone for hours. That wasn't going to happen anymore, with summer quickly approaching and school ending, we agreed to go outside for at least an hour a day.
"Thanks for painting my bike." She said with a smile.
"No problem. Such a pretty color you chose."
"Next weekend, can we customize it even more?" More attention for Bella was a part of the plan as well.
"If we're not busy. Remember we have Noah and Leia's graduation."
"Oh yeah. I end school on the 15th."
"That was crazy quick, that's next Friday. Are you ready for 8th grade?"
"Well, I think so. It shouldn't be too difficult, I've known these people for years."
"What about your recital?"
"I'm kind of sad about it. I want to quit, but it's a big part of my life."
"Do you want to talk about it?" She nodded and we stopped to go get ice cream.
"I still love music, but it isn't the same. I want to move on a bit, and I do band so like what's the difference?"
"You're growing up, it's okay to grow out of things and find new interests. It happens to all of us."
"But it feels weird."
"Weird how?" I asked before ordering for us.
"A crap ton of emotions."
"Positive or negative?"
"Both." I put my arm around her and she smiled.
"When you do have these emotions, how come you don't want to talk to us about them?"
"Because, Mom is always working, and if she's not, she's getting ready for work, you have your job, and stuff. I'm not home when Lucy is home and stuff."
"What stuff?"
"Can't really talk to anyone else."
"Not even a counselor at school, or your aunt?"
"Don't want to bother anyone and I feel scared to talk about why I was upset these pasts few days anyways."
"Why?" She started to cry quietly and I gave her a hug.
"I want Mom."
"Is it a girl thing?"
"No, I just have to tell Mom about it first. She's going to be mad at me. Sorry for crying on your shirt."
"It's okay. Let's head back to the house, you can wash your face and we'll talk more."
"Alright."
*************
Garden City, L.I. (Olivia's Perspective)
"You guys have been gone for a bit, how was it?"
"Well we were doing pretty good, and then-"
"And then?" I asked while finishing up the alfredo.
"I hit a nerve."
"What happened?"
"We were talking about negative emotions and she told me that she's scared to talk about why she's been so upset lately and that you'll be mad at her for not speaking up earlier."
"So she didn't do anything?"
"That's not what it seems to be."
"Scared. Interesting. What could she be afraid of? I'll talk to her right after lunch." Bella came downstairs and started to help set the table.
"Mom, are we having breadsticks too?"
"Yes, take them out of the oven please."
"I'll get the grill going outside." Which left my daughter and me alone.
"Sweet pea?"
"Yes, Mom?"
"Is there anything that you want to talk about?"
"Yes."
"Do you want to talk about that now, or in or after lunch."
"After lunch, before you get angry." She whispered.
"Before what?"
"Before nothing. I didn't say anything."
"Alright, go set the table outside please."
^^^
"Bella? Talk to me."
"Okay, I'll just tell you, I'm tired of keeping it in." She sat up and looked around as if she was being spied on.
"I've been seeing Mom a lot lately."
"Mom?"
"Not you, Maria."
"Has she been threatening you?!!"
"No, but she'll talk to me. She has another kid..."
"Woah, woah, woah, sit down and tell me the whole story. How many times?"
"I can't count. She's been coming to the school every day these days, I don't know why."
"Tell me about the first time."
"The first time, I was waiting for you after band practice. You said you were ten minutes away. So I was talking to Jake and Faith outside."
"What else?"
"It was just Faith and me when she came. She asked me how I've been and I said fine. But I was kind of annoyed because like if you cared you'd actually make an effort to speak to me rather than sending people to spy on me."
"What makes you say that?"
"Because her kid, always finds his way around me or in my conversations, we're not friends and we don't talk at all so I don't get why he'd do that. When we were talking she told me that she loved me and that she's hoping to see me again soon, saw your car and then dashed."
"That's because I asked her to not speak to you."
"So then why is she still doing it?! I don't want to talk to her! I hate her!"
"Bella, I understand you're angry, but you have to also understand that at the end of the day, she's still your mother."
"I don't care. I'm not speaking to her. Who's side are you on?!"
"Baby, I'm on your side. I've been fighting for you since you were 5 and a half. I want what's in your best interest. I just want you to understand why she did that."
"Well, I don't like it. Get one of your restraining orders or something because I'm tired of her." I've never ever witnessed Bella speaking in such a hateful manner before. It was scary, truly scary. But, I did understand her frustration and I was going to do what I could to protect my daughter from pain. I thought that the discussion I had with Maria worked, but I guess I was wrong. I have way too much faith in people.
*************
June 13th (Bella's Perspective)
I wiped my tears with a tissue and continued to talk.
"I know this session seems really difficult, but it's okay to cry, it actually means that we're getting somewhere a breakthrough."
"I don't think I like this breakthrough very much," I said while hiccuping.
"Why do you dislike this breakthrough?"
"Because it's making me cry."
"And why is it making me cry?"
"Because we're talking about things that are difficult."
"If we talk about these things that are difficult we are able to then recognize a pattern."
"A pattern?"
"Yes. Then we can find a way to deal with these negative emotions positively. You've made great progress today, I'm very proud of you."
"Why are you proud of me?"
"Because we established a pattern today. Can you guess what that is?" I thought for a long member before speaking.
"Conversations about the last lead me to negative thoughts, and those thoughts lead to anger and anxiety."
"Great job. During our next session, we will establish a technique to deal with that. We will also do an activity."
"Okay. Thank you."
"You're very welcome." I grabbed my bookbag and headed out of the room.
"Bella, are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"You look like you were crying."
"I am, and that's okay. It's healthy to cry. Can we get dinner please?"

A/N: How do you think this type of therapy will dare Bella??