🌟She's Special🌟

Race

October 15th, (6:47 AM)
It was Monday. The day after the competition. I felt pretty well-rested and ready for school. I looked at my phone for texts. They were mainly from Snapchat, Instagram, and iMessage. Oh shoot, I never answered Faith. I was so tired from last night that I forgot to answer her!
Me: Faith, I'm so sorry! I fell asleep! What do you wanna talk about bb🥺
Faith: it's okay. I get it Bellz. I just haven't been feeling very well lately.
I paused before answering. Faith has been a bit quiet lately. I was gonna ask her about it. But, I wanted to give her some privacy. I know what it feels like to be pretty sad. I'd want privacy. I finished brushing my teeth and got ready to go take my shower.
Me: What's wrong? Is something going on at home?
Faith: Well, kind of. It's a mix of so many things.
Me: Then tell me. I'm listening.
Faith: Mom and Dad have been paying so much attention to me lately, we've gotten into so many arguments. I get it, they wanna make me feel better, but I just feel worse. Lately, I've been wanting to know about where I've come from. No one has given me any definite answers. I don't know why.
Faith is adopted just like Hannah and I are, we've all been there where we felt our identity and as up for question. Our parents are white, does that make us white as well? No. Hannah's Indian, I'm mixed, Faith is fully black. But what we've known our entire lives are white people, the way our families and friends do things, not the way out ethic background does things and we're used to that. It really messes with our heads from time to time, and we usually talk to each other when we struggle with this. But, why did Faith take so long?
Me: Why won't they give you any answers?! You're entitled to know your birth parents! I'm so sorry, Faith. When we get to school we need to talk about this.
************
Trevor Day School (Leia's Perspective)
I love playing recess with my friends. We usually play things like tag or hide and seek.
"No, I don't wanna play that!" Kaden said.
"But Kaden, we played your game last round," Courtney said.
"Yeah, we did. So we should play a different game this time." Barron said. But, Kaden did not like that idea I think. He pushed Barron. Why would he push Barron?! That's my friend!
"Hey, you don't push him!" I pushed him back and helped Barron up.
"Leia! Oh no! We gotta stop Kaden before he tells on you!"
"Leia Benson!" Aww, rats! Mr.Sanchez saw me!
"Leia, why would you push Kaden?!"
"Because Kaden pushed Barron! That's my friend!"
"But, that doesn't make any of it okay. You guys are both going to the Dean's office for your behavior! And the rest of you are coming as well." This was stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! If Kaden hadn't pushed Barron this would've never happened. I hate his stupid face! Mr. Sanchez walked all of us to Mrs.Peterman's office.
"Don't worry, you won't get in trouble!" Bailey whispered.
"Yeah, you won't." I smiled at Christina and Bailey.
"Level zero!" You know, I don't like Mr. Sanchez. He's very bossy and annoying. This is why I'm happy to be in Ms.Dubois and Ms. White's class. He seems rude.
"Mrs. Peterman, I'd like to report an incident that occurred on the playground today." She looked at us.
"This bunch? These are very good kids."
"They got physical on the playground today." She sighed.
"Okay, everyone sit at a desk." I sat next to Bailey. We could whisper so no one would hear us. When stupid Mr. Sanchez left she asked us for our side of the story.
"Well it's was because if Kaden."
"Nu-uh! This is all Leia's fault!"
"You're a liar!"
"Stop lying on Leia!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, enough. One at a time."
"May I go first?" I asked.
"Yes, you may."
"We were playing games together, and then we were gonna play another game, and Kaden was yelling and getting upset about it. Kaden wanted to play his game but Barron said it's our turn to choose! He got angry and pushed Barron. Then I pushed Kaden back. It's my fault."
"Is Leia being honest, raise hands to show me?"
"She is, but it isn't her fault!" Christina said.
"Kaden. Is she telling the truth?" Kaden got really angry. He flipped over the desks and we had to evacuate the office. Oh no, what did I do?
**********
Lunch Time (Bella's Perspective)
We were supposed to be in the lunchroom, but Faith and I sneaked off to the library to talk.
"Faith, I didn't know you were struggling. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay. You didn't know. I just feel so empty. I want to know about my real parents."
"Maybe your parents have info and they're just hiding it."
"But where would they be hiding it?"
"Do you know of a place where your parents would hide things?!"
"Look, I just don't know." Faith began to cry.
"I'm sorry Faithy. I'm sorry. I know how it feels, you just want to understand yourself, and no one will tell you anything because they think you're not ready. How about this?" I went into my bag and took out a piece of paper.
"What?"
"How about, instead of getting super angry at your parents. You go easier." Mr. and Mrs.Andersson are nice people. I think that if Faith is calmer, it would help her get some answers.
"Write a letter to them." I wiped her tears and gave her a hug.
"If you write them a letter, I think they'll take it more seriously. Sometimes, anger isn't the way. I'm telling you because I've been there! I love you Faith, and I don't want you to be sad or have depressing thoughts. Or get anxious even. Because I've been there. I have an anxiety disorder, sometimes I have to take medication for it."
"Really?"
"Yeah? I have a lot of problems that I haven't told you or anyone else. And like I said, we're gonna talk about them at the sleepover this weekend. It's about time I got honest."
"Bella, when the hell did you get so mature?!"
"I dunno. It was a process. Um, therapy and books make you think in a weirdly different perspective." I stated.
"Bella, can you come over today?"
"I wish. I have dance today." We sat in silence for a moment.
"What about tomorrow?"
"Gymnastics? Oh, and I have to meet with Anna."
"You're busy. I have swim practice today and gym tomorrow too. At least I'll see you then. We can walk home together." She smiled and so did I.
"I can't wait."
************
Leia's Room (Olivia's Perspective)

Leia was sitting on her bed quietly when I walked in. I was so disappointed in her, she knew better than to hit anybody, no matter the circumstances, we talked about that. But at the same time, I saw just how loyal she was. She did it to stick up for her friend.
"Leia Mae?" She sniffled.
"Yes, Mommy?"
"Why are you crying?"
"Because Daddy and Lucy punished me. I can't watch my show tonight, and I have to go to bed early. And no electronic for the rest of the week." She said. I sat next to my youngest in her small bed and looked at her.
"Leia, what you did at school today was unacceptable. No matter what, even if the person did you wrong, you do not ever hit another person. It's not kind, did I raise you to hit?"
"No ma'am."
"So why did you do it?"
"Because he pushed Barron and hurt him, so I wanted him to see how it felt."
"I understand that you were sticking up for Barron, but that wasn't the way to do it. The right way to do it was to call the teacher and tell them what had happened. You escalated the situation but doing what you did. I'm very disappointed in you little lady."
"When Kaden gets off his suspension I want you to have an apology written for him."
"But that isn't fair! He pushed first!" How was I supposed to explain to Leia that he was special needs and certain things trigger him?
"Leia, Kaden is sensitive time things like that. You may not be, but that doesn't mean he isn't. You have to step into someone else's shoes. Maybe he was frustrated, maybe he wanted someone to listen, and you pushed him. Yes, him pushing Barron was naughty, but you pushing didn't help much either."
"I understand." Leia went under the covers.
"It's about bedtime for you." I tucked her in and gave her a kiss.
"Leia, even though I'm disappointed, I still love you very much. And, that will never change, there's nothing you could do that would make me stop loving you." She began to cry and I rubbed her back.
"Good night, pumpkin." I turned her lamp on and turned off her lights.
"Leia, I love you." She didn't reply. I closed the door and sat on the couch in the basement. I was overwhelmed. I couldn't take Leia not saying it back personally, she's upset. Bella and Noah did the same things at her age. It's normal. It feels like history is repeating itself, I find myself having these same difficult moments with my three kids. It's a struggle to remain happy in times like this.
"Mom, are you busy?" Bella said with a smile. But sometimes, happiness comes in small moments.
"No, I'm not sweetheart. What's up?"
"Can you paint my nails please?!" I began to paint and Bella began to tell me about her day.
"It was hilarious. Jonathan and Ethan were going at it! But in a joking way!"
"Sounds like you had a great day today."
"Hm, I guess you could say that! Mom, can we do this more often?" She asked as I sprayed the drying spray on her fingers.
"Of course." And like that, those small moments are over. But, I wouldn't change it for a second.
"I love you, Bella."
"Love you, even more, Mom!"