『 ʙᴇɴᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ sᴜʀғᴀᴄᴇ ⋙ sᴏᴘᴇ 』✔︎

𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕗𝕚𝕗𝕥𝕪 𝕤𝕚𝕩

I like him

I like Hoseok

I like Hoseok!?

I LIKE HOSEOK!??!?

These were the only thoughts consuming Min Yoongi's mind at the moment, as the boy was currently sitting on the train heading home from school, his headphones plugged in blocking the outside world revolving around him.

On the other side of the train's glass windows, an icy breeze whiffed by as a signal that Autumn was on its way, as the lake water sprinkled the air and carried this salty breeze with it. Yoongi smiled at this, since Fall was his favorite season and it somewhat calmed his hectic mind just a tad.

Although it still wasn't very productive.

No, I can't like Hoseok-

It's just teenage hormones

So what if he's sweet, and funny, and adorable with those cute little dimples and squishy cheeks-

AH SH*T

SNAP OUT OF IT YOU DUMB B*TCH

"Arghhhhhhh" Yoongi groaned out loud, not really caring if nearby passengers glanced at him with weird judgmental stares. He rested his face in his hands out of frustration, hunching over so that his elbows rested on his knees.

Ah yes, the stress position.

Because all Yoongi could really do at that stage, was go back and forth in his mind whether or not his consciousness was true.

A thread of denial, acceptance, defeat, puzzlement, and uncertainty all clouded his mind at once, never giving him a break in between those chaotic and battling thoughts.

Like on one shoulder there was one part of his consciousness, accepting the fact they he liked Hoseok, and on the other shoulder was the stubborn part who denied it until he went crazy.

Now, mix those two together and bam!

You get a pot of mayhem, disarray, and havoc.

And even though despite how much Yoongi wanted his mind to be playing tricks on him, that it was just apart of hormonal puberty or making up fake crushes for yourself, deep down he knew it was true.

In fact, now that he's just realizing how hopelessly attracted he was to Hoseok, it made him wonder how long these feelings have been hidden under all those layers ignorance and stubbornness, sheltering himself from expressing those true emotions.

How could he have not realized it before?

The love-sick gaze, constant blushing and flustered behavior, non-stop smiling just in the mere presence of the boy, and not to mention the flutters sent throughout his body causing weird tingles to always itch down his back.

It was all too blatantly obvious.

And he was painfully oblivious.

Even if he tried convincing himself otherwise, he knew that in the end, the little angel controlling one half of his consciousness would win the never ending battle.

Did his friends know?

How could they? He had never expressed that type of attraction to Hoseok before- at least not intentionally.

And he was certainly far from ready to tell them, he just came to terms with himself for goodness sake. How would he be ready to tell them if he wasn't even ready to tell himself?

And oh god, Yoongi hasn't even had a crush since middle school, so how was he, a high school student in junior year, going to deal with these new foreign feelings without any experience whatsoever?

That's right, he couldn't.

It would just continue as it is, him becoming a pink and heated mess whenever the two had a simple conversation, or him stumbling over words and sentences.

No one ever said it was going to be easy, or harmless, but he'd fight through it until the crush eventually blew over.

Or at least, that's what he told himself.

☾☀︎︎☽ ☾☀︎︎☽ ☾☀︎︎☽

Walking out through the sliding metallic train doors, Yoongi stepped out onto the underground platform of the train station, soaking in the fresh and brisk air.

The cold atmosphere bit at his skin, eventually reacting with this faint rosy blush coating the tips of his ears and base of his chubby cheeks, the hues spreading all throughout the expanse of his face in faint colorations.

Taking a deep breath, Yoongi braced himself before walking up the stairs and out of the huge station. People coming out from work and school bumped into him on the way up, all heading in a variety of different directions on their way home to their families or single rent apartments.

His headphones were still plugged into his now nearly numbed ears, muffling out the circumjacent echoes of the small yet somewhat crowded town on the outer banks of a huge city. Yelling, shouting, people talking in hushed tones on the phone to their loved ones or coworkers, crossing guards telling people it's okay to cross the busy street, the occasional birds chirping, and groups of friends chatting excitedly amongst each other about their new found crushes at school, all filled the air around him turning it into a less peaceful afternoon walk on the way home.

But the noisy world living outside of his airpods didn't matter.

Nothing mattered.

It blocked him from reality, from the hard and cold truths, from the pre-existing dangers he'd have to face.

As if he didn't have to live through it all, those simple music lyrics and beats creating this protective barrier around him from having to suffer it.

Because if you were isolated from the unknown fears and threats everyone else had to face, then your mind wouldn't have to deal with the precautions or subconscious thoughts clouding it, as if you were aware of everything.

Then, he wouldn't have to deal with his stupid crush, the anxious protruding thoughts radiating off of the amount of schoolwork sent home every night, or those overbearing work shifts.

He could choose to simply ignore all of it.

By sitting in his cold, small room, listening to music as if that was the only reality that mattered to him.

But that's not the case, because this is life.

Where it's essential to undergo the unpleasant segments playing a role in your average day, week, or month. Because without those ordinary setbacks and unfortunate adventures, you'd be unprepared for what's yet to come.

For the new field of roaring feelings that's still yet to come for Min Yoongi.

🍓welp😳👉👈
🍼also I apologize for the shorter chapter, I just thought it'd be more meaningful if the whole chapter was dedicated to Yoongi's thought process about this uwu <3 there will be longer chapters tho!! DW
🍼thank you for reading!! ♡'･ᴗ･'♡
🍓editor/assistant: jiminie_cricket_