One Rule! • JK x Reader•

54. What's the deal

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"Who was it?" Jinsoo questions the minute you're back in eye sight to her.

You give a sigh; "just one of the guys, he was worried about something we'd arranged for the performance tomorrow, it's all sorted now." You lie.

Liar!

It's become so easy to lie, so natural the way they fall from your mouth.

Anything to hide the secrets you keep with Jungkook.

"Ooh which one? Is he hot?"

You roll your eyes instantly and sit back down on the sofa with her, grabbing your plate of food; "shut up! Let me eat in silence!"

Eventually you do actually forget all about the 'are they hot' thing and Jinsoo never mentions the idols again.

Bedtime rolls round about 1am when you tell Jinsoo you really need to sleep because you have to work with the guys on the performance tomorrow at the awards show.

"Night Jinsoo, and... thanks..." you say shyly as you watch her get comfy on the sofa; leaving your friend in the living room on your sofa with a duvet cover and some pillows.

You can't help but think of how you didn't leave Jungkook on your sofa!

Nope! You took him to your bed!

Okay, so you didn't do anything but the fact you didn't even leave him in the leaving room when you're leaving your best friend there rings alarms bells for you!

"Hey, what for?" Jinsoo calls to you before you turn around and leave for your room.

"Just... tonight, for hanging out again" you give her a smile in the dimmed light.

"It's okay, you sure everything's good?"

"Yeah, thanks Jinsoo"

"You'd tell me though? If... you know, there's something on your mind, I could help?" You see your friend give a tiny smile.

"Yeah... yeah of course..." you're lying again! Why can't you tell her about all the things swimming in your mind? "... night Jinsoo"

"Night Y/N"

The moment you close your bedroom door and are alone in your room you give a sigh; you'd have given anything for Jungkook to have come over and stayed with you.

Laid in bed with you, tangled his legs with yours.

Held you while you slept!

For one tiny second you considered calling him; calling him and hearing his voice again or taking to him until you fell asleep.

Instead, you slumped down on your bed, climbing under the covers and feeling a tear slip down your cheek wetting your pillow.

'I don't want to hate you Jungkook, I promise, I don't want to push you away, I'm sorry' you whisper into your pillow so quietly Jinsoo could never hear anything and then you tried to sleep as the left over tears began to dry on your pillow.

You toss and turn all night, the thought of not being able to stay close with Jungkook.

Not being able to stay friends with him because you're scared of your own feelings.

You hate yourself for everything; you shouldn't have let yourself get so friendly with him in the first place!

You should've never stayed with him that night in the hotel after he'd fainted.

God, you're so stupid!

When you glance at the clock again for the hundredth time it's already 5am and you have to get up in just over an hour and you've barely slept; you sigh kicking your legs around in the bed annoyed at yourself!

Why can't you switch off?

You really needed to sleep, but you can't!

Thoughts haunted with Jungkook and everything you've got knotted up in with him when you shouldn't have!

By the time your alarm clock goes off, you've barely slept at all; you know the day is going to be long and you can already feel the headache on it's way through lack of sleep.

"Morning" you say quietly to Jinsoo who was shuffling around on your sofa, just waking up from what looked like a peaceful sleep, more than can be said for what happened when you went to bed.

"Morning" she smiles back as she gets up to join you in the kitchen.

"Cereal? Tea?"

"Yeah please"

You look at her trying smooth down her hair; "did you sleep well?" You ask, hoping she slept better than you did.

"Oh yes thanks I did, your sofa is comfy. Maybe I should do girly nights with you more often" Jinsoo giggles and you smile right back.

After a chat over breakfast you're ready to go to work, well, not ready, but you need to be going and getting to the office.

In the car on the way to drop Jinsoo off at home she suddenly turns to you at a red light; "Y/N?"

"Yeah?"

"I know something's off with you?"

Your heart beat picks up in panic and you don't even know what to say to her.

What can you say?

"How? What do you mean?"

"Every time I mention the guys or you're job, you just... I dunno... you freeze up, are they not what we thought they were all those times we dreamed? Are they horrible to you?"

You wasn't expecting that at all.

"No... no of course not, the guys they're, amazing, to be honest, I've made friends with them..." you let your voice drift off, just becoming quiet as your mind drifts away to Jungkook again.

Wanting to be more than friends, your brain screams!

"So what's the deal? Why do you act like I've told you someone died when I joke about them being hot? Or..." Jinsoo seems like she doesn't know what to say but to be honest, neither do you.

"I... I don't"

"You do!"

You pull up in front of Jinsoo's apartment block and glance over at her; "I just, I dunno, maybe because I can't think of them like that, I signed a contract, I can't.. I really can't have a crush on them or... or worse" your voice seems to shake a little at the end of your sentence and it seems like your friend pick up on it.

"Worse? Worse how? Like more than a crush? What's going on Y/N? Do you have something going on with them or with one of them or? Shit you've not..."

"Look Jinsoo, I appreciate your concern, I do I really do, but I am not allowed to have anything going on with any of them, I haven't and I don't so, I really do have to be going to the company right now, the guys are performing today, so...." you give her a weak smile and she seems to give up again blowing out a sigh.

"Fine! But you're not okay and there's something with you and that band, I'll find out... okay.. love ya" she blows you a silly kiss and then points and accusing finger right at you as she jumps from your car allowing you to drive off to work.

"Fuck!" You curse to yourself as you drive away.