TNP's 1st One-Shot Story Writing Contest Pt. 2

Entry #210

If Ever I Become an Option

by tripple_aaa

Being in a relationship is a wonderful feeling when the love you receive is something that you deserve. Love feels good when the respect is present. Most people desire to be in a relationship and most people do not. If I will to be asked, do not just desire to be in a relationship. Desire to be in a relationship where you will feel loved, respected and valued. If none of these are present, that relationship is not worth it. You deserve to be with someone who won't make you cry, questioning your worth. You deserve to be with someone who won't make you stay awake at night, wondering what you have done wrong to make him leave you. You deserve to be with someone that will never make you question your own existence.

If you enter in a relationship, pick someone who also knows your worth. Do not settle with someone that will make you feel worthless. You will gain nothing but pain. This is the kind of lesson I have learned upon my recent break-up.

I was put in a situation where I became an option. Most people, especially our colleagues and friends did not expect that the reason of our break-up is a third-party, as what they prefer to call it. But, little did they know... the third party was not the problem.

It was him and his lying schemes. When he made the decision to cheat on me, he had also made the decision for our break-up. I do love him, after all, we wouldn't last long if I don't. But, is love really enough to make a person stay? It's hilarious if the answer is yes. Because, if it is, why someone is not yet contented to be loved? Why is there a need of intimacy? At, kung hindi mo maibigay, maghahanap ng iba.

We were in a long distance relationship for three years. Even so, it was not an enough reason to meet his demand to find someone else. Unless if we broke up but we didn't. He promised me one thing while we were apart – he will wait for me. I am a fool to believe that his promise means he would never found someone else. Well, maybe he got bored in the process of waiting so he chose to find someone else?

I don't know and I don't care. The only thing that matters here was that he cheated while he is still in a relationship.

Nothing can ever justify his act. I love him but not to the extent of forgetting my own worth just to make him stay with me. When I took the risk of entering in a relationship, I made a promise to myself that if ever I become an option, I will leave, no matter the circumstances. I won't allow someone to make me feel worthless.

Mag-si-sinungaling ako kung sasabihin kong hindi ako nag-dalawang isip na tanggapin pa siya at kung hindi ako nasaktan sa ginawa niya. The emotional pain he caused me was too much that I wasn't able to get it through the day. Nawalan ako ng gana mabuhay but, then again, my world doesn't revolve around him. I have a life that needs to be lived, with or without his presence.

It is impossible not to give him a piece of my heart after spending five years with him. I know that a part of me will always love him... but I need to take care of the parts that he had left broken. Wala naman ang ibang makaka-ayos noon kung hindi ang sarili ko lang.

When I found out that he cheated, he apologized... a lot of times.

"Do you felt sorry because you cheated? Or, because you have been caught?" I sarcastically asked and drastically removed his arms around my waist. "The thing is, the pain you have caused me will never be gone no matter how many times you apologize."

"Iiwan ko naman siya e. I swear, I didn't mean it. It was a mistake. Ikaw lang naman ang pipiliin ko. Ikaw lang."

He keeps on muttering that he will choose me but that is not the point here. Ang sakit lang na isa ako sa pagpipilian kung dapat naman talaga sa una pa lang, ako lang at walang iba.