Love in the leaves [Kakashi X Reader X Itachi]

Self Doubt

My body was covered in sweat. My head pounding and ready to explode. My screaming fit had left my throat sore and my body aching. The restraints had started to cut into my flesh a long time ago. I could feel my wrists and ankles bleed as the unforgiving robe burned angry streaks in my once fair skin.

"Are you done?"

Tsunade sounded bored. Almost as if she just pulled back a seat and had spent the last 30 minutes watching a tv show and not one of her former subordinates have the biggest mental breakdown in the history of Konoha.

"Fuck you!" I yelled, anger still steering my voice and mind. "Fuck you and your fucking village!"

"You said that before," She replied flatly. "Several times. It's getting old Y/n-chan."

I don't know what infuriated me more. The fact that she was right? The fact that she sounded bored? The lack of emotions coming from her? I don't know what triggered me more, I just knew that something triggered me. I launched forward again, regretting the action as soon as I felt the rope bite into my wounds once more.

"Will you stop? If you keep going like that I won't be able to heal your wounds anymore."

"I don't give a fuck if you heal my fucking wounds!"

"Taiyō..." Shikaku soothed only to be met by another cussing fit from me. But before I could get the momentum of my mouth into full force, Tsunade's whisper broke my resolution to use the most fucks even to be used in one sentence."

"Why do you always feel the need to fuck up your life huh?"

"What did you just say?" I roared. "Did you just fucking accuse me of fucking my own life up? You did this! Itachi did thi-"

"And yet you chose to go this course!" Tsunade interjected. "You're the one who chose not to report back to me. You're the one who chose to secretly meet Itachi in the woods. Several times, you met up with him and not once did you tell me! You chose not to report everything back to me. You chose to take on this mission and agreed it was best not to tell Kakashi anything! You chose this outcome! Not me. You!"

I don't know what stung more. The fact that her words carried truth or that she accused me of doing this to myself. As if told Itachi, 'Go on. Kill your clan and leave me here to deal with the mess and the looks that will follow'. As if I ordered Asuma to get himself killed by the Akatsuki so he could die a hero. Did I willingly push Kakashi into bed with Anko? How Tsunade phrased it, it was as if he handed him a condom and told him to have fun. Did he even use a condom with that whore?

My mind was all over the place. Tired and broken. Like the skin of my wrists that were tied down to the table that was currently my jail cell. And the realization of just how fucked up this whole mess was was what set me off in the end.

"The fuck I did," I hissed through clenched teeth. "The fuck I chose this outcome. You were supposed to keep him occupied! Not allow him to fuck that whore Anko!" My anger was back with a vengeance. Bigger and more violent than it had been before. I could feel the cloth around my face heat up. The smell of skin and fabric burning as my jutsu pushed its way out of my eyes and through the cloth. "I did not fucking choose this! My life has been one big fuck up but not by my fucking choices!"

Strands of fiber caught fire as the cloth disintegrated into ashes. I could feel the skin around my eyes burn, my blood boiling under the surface.

"Itachi fucking left me! Kakashi fucking cheated and Tobi told his fucking lackeys to kill me and left me to die! I never asked for any of this! So don't you dare fucking tell me I chose this!" The ropes that kept me tied down to the table suddenly felt like too much to bare. I turned to look, my eyes burning as I focussed on the strands. Slowly the ropes caught fire. They burned until the strands were thin enough for me to break. I lunged forward, catching Shikaku and Tsunade by surprise as I broke free from the restraints. "Fuck every motherfucker in this fucking village!" I roared as I quickly reached for the ropes that kept my legs tied to the table.