chapter forty nine

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"I've wanted to kiss you all night", Haechan admits when he and Jaemin are alone.

"I wanna kiss you too", Jaemin mumbles, not having the heart to be flirty.

It catches Jaemin off-guard when Haechan drags him to the couch, moves onto his lap, and goes for his neck, but he doesn't mind it. Especially because he doesn't have to do anything, so he can just overthink himself to sadness.

"You look so hot in this", Haechan mumbles against his neck.

"How do you think I feel about you?"

If Haechan notices that Jaemins heart isn't fully in it, he doesn't show it, just continuing to kiss every area of skin he can reach.

When Haechan kisses Jaemin and realizes most of the energy is coming from him, he knows something's wrong.

"What is it?" He asks.

"Hm?"

Haechan moves off of Jaemins lap and over to the side of him. He pulls Jaemin into his arms, feeling concerned when the boy doesn't relax against him like he usually does.

"Did I do something?"

Jaemin shakes his head, even though his mind is coming up with answers.

"I think it's just me", he says after a minute.

"Talk to me."

"It's...hard to explain, it's fine."

"Fine?"

"Let's just not talk about it right now."

"Are you sure?"

Jaemin nods. He looks up at Haechan and hates himself for wanting to kiss him. Ignoring everything else, he pulls him in for a kiss, trying to let himself pretend that he's happy with just this.

Like before, Haechan can tell Jaemin's not fully in it and pulls away again but this time, he chooses not to talk and just cuddles Jaemin, hoping he's okay.

                                                                 Haechan
                                 Can you check on Jaemin?

My Love #1
Yes but why?

                                                                 Haechan
          I think something happened yesterday
        He seems sad and he won't talk about it

My Love #1
And you have absolutely no idea why?

                                                                 Haechan
             It did cross my mind that I did
             something but if I did, I have no idea
             what
               Jaemin said it wasn't me but I'm not
               sure to believe him

My Love #1
Stop doing that thing where you
blame yourself for everything

                                                                 Haechan
                          What if it actually is my fault?

My Love #1
Don't assume it's your fault
I'll go see Jaemin and find out
DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF!!!

                                                                 Haechan
                                                               Yes, Jisung

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