Love Me | MarkNoHyuckMin

Facts :)

It is taking SO LONG for me to get that other bonus scene out. The ideas are just barely flowing and knowing that I haven't updated here in a while makes me a little sad so I've decided I no longer want to wait until the second bonus chapter is up to post this. I'll probably end up adding to it but these are like the general facts

I don't remember if it's one or two people I mentioned this idea to but at least one person told me this is cool and I think it's cool to tell you about things I took out, what I planned, perhaps why something happened, thoughts, me remembering/me adding on and possibly over-explaining 

In no particular order, just whatever my memory allows

1. I actually don't need my memory for this since this is kind of the base of the book. At least as far as the characters individually are concerned. They're all based off of me and I know like people put pieces of themselves in everything they do, but I've never pieced myself apart like this and I think it was very interesting. It's also the first time I really put a lot of thought in how a character was to come out and though I think I could do it better if I were to write this book again, I don't mind how it is now

Jaemin - people pleasing, pansexual, whatever term means you could be in a committed relationship with one person or more and it makes no difference to you (me from later on: so this last one kind of changed because while I'm still not opposed to more than one partner, I know that I personally wouldn't be able to handle it/would end up not liking it)

I used to be a big people pleaser and was horrified of people not liking me. I was ready to bend over backwards so I would be liked. I'm not that way anymore, just a tad now so I did make Jaemin a little extreme but that was also to match his grandparents and specifically grandmother who is based on my mother

Mark - the breakup, scared of loving in fear that people will find him too much, lacking self-love, thinks he's annoying, I feel like there's more but this is what I can think of off the top of my head

With him, I just really needed a way to express my feelings and let them out to comfort myself and make sense of them. (In more simple terms, I went through a breakup that I wasn't completely over at the time of writing this and I had felt like I didn't get a chance to get all those feelings out and say everything I needed to say). It was also to give me a little bit of hope that I won't be too much for the right person, that eventually there will be someone who loves me and I just really needed that at the time the book started. Sometimes now too but I think this character has done its job in comforting me

Jeno - trust issues, questioning his sexuality multiple times

All that friendship stuff was based on my experiences. His old friends were made up but the way they made it seem like Jeno was the reason why they got distant happened to me with different words. And I think that all of MarkNoMinHyuck has trust issues, but that unwillingness to open up/let in new people is like Jenos main thing. I don't remember the amount of thought going into this so only my past self actually knows what's going on

And then the questioning is just something I do so he got that little trait as well

Haechan - trauma, toxic mother, two siblings, one older, one younger, introversion, asociality, would pick his dad over his mother any day, raised himself and his younger sibling, does not have the most helpful big brother, does not like his mothers husband who he refuses to call his stepdad, would only ever work in a place that's not too busy, friendship issues, close friend treats him better than his mother has since he was fifteen, there might be more, oh yeah, homophobia that his mother thinks isn't homophobia

I feel this gets more obvious the more I mention my family. With Haechan and his problems, I didn't really need to make up a lot of it. It wasn't all real, but sometimes, it was. And when it was fictional, it was based on logic like if the worst parts of them came out, that's what they would be like (didn't have to do too much for the character based on my mother).