Love Me | MarkNoHyuckMin

chapter seventy two

Jaemin knew it would be torture. He'd tried so hard to prepare himself, convince himself that it's what he needs, and he agrees, it is. But not talking to Haechan is so much worse than he imagined. It feels like he's traded one pain for other.

I miss you

He wants to text Haechan, apologize for cutting off contact and make him feel bad, he wants to hug him and kiss him and just be with him forever. He wishes it could be that simple. He knows it's not.

Jisung❤️, Tennn<3, Wooooo<3

Jaemin
What do I do?

Wooooo<3
How wrong would I be for
assuming who this is about?

Jaemin
Not wrong at all
I miss him
I miss him so much
He probably hates me

Jisung❤️
He does not
He couldn't

Jaemin
He used to

Jisung❤️
That was never hate

Jaemin
Doesn't matter what it was, he didn't
like me then and he probably doesn't
like me now

Jisung❤️
Why are you so convinced he
doesn't love you?

Jaemin
Cause this entire thing is hard to believe
To be honest, his feelings about me
make more sense than any of yours
Him not liking me and finding my people-pleasing and sensitivity inconvenient is probably the most
normal way you could react to me
And fine, he loves me now
But WHY?
I just don't understand any of this

Tennn<3
Jaemin, who the hell convinced
you you're hard to love?

Jaemin
I don't know
I can't win
Not trying to make people happy and preserve their feelings makes me
hard to like but then doing that also
makes me hard to like cause I'm too
hard to deal with

Wooooo<3
Can I say something you might
not like?

Jaemin
Go ahead

Wooooo<3
I think you should take more time
before you do anything about
anybody but especially Haechan
I think you have pent up anger
towards him and it's making it
hard for you to believe what's
happening because you didn't get
along that well then
You have so much love to give but
you don't give any of it to yourself
I'm sure you'll still be wanting
your feelings reciprocated but it
will be easier if you actually value
yourself and understand that you're
worthy of someone being in love
with you
Without using someone else's
feelings as your only proof

Tennn<3
He's right, baby
You're only gonna feel worse if
you keep relying on other people's
feelings about you
And it's not healthy
It's okay to miss Haechan but you
have to remind yourself that
you're doing this for you
And that's the most important thing
You are so loved and none of that is
changing

Jaemin
What am I supposed to do when
I wanna be around him?
When I keep torturing myself with
the drawing or the mini flowers or
the fucking kisses when I'm not
around jar
I want HIM
Maybe I didn't let go of the past but
I still want Haechan and it hurts
almost as much as this does