SwanQueen One Shots - Book Two

Random Texts

Emma: Y'know something. I'm the smartest, most skilled person in Storybrooke.

Regina: Remember when your arm got stuck in the vending machine?

Emma: I paid for Gatorade

Emma: I'm getting my Gatorade

- - -

Robin: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?

Regina: No

Robin: Why?

Regina: Emma caught me

- - -

Regina: So what do you think of the shirt? It's part of a pack so it comes with two others!

Emma: It's expensive

Regina: It's $13

Emma: That's expensive

- - -

Regina: Emma, I think you need to stop drinking coffee for a while. It's only been a week and you've had three jars..

Emma: Coffee cures my depression

Regina: That's now how it works

Emma: More Espresso, less depresso

- - -

Emma: You've heard of Netflix and Chill...Get ready for iMAX and climax

Robin: Blockbuster and cockthruster!

Regina: Hulu and woohoo!

Killian: Amazon Prime and sexy time!

Snow: Church and praying for forgiveness.

- - -

Emma: Do you want me to get you a foot stool so you can look straight at my eyes when you threaten me?

Regina: Fuck you

Snow: I'm going to have to stop this conversation right here

- - -

Emma: Hey

Regina: No

Emma: I didn't even ask anything!

Regina: You only say  "Hey" when you want something. When you message someone you say "Hello bitch."

- - -

Emma: Small creatures are way more vicious. It's because their anger has less space to be bottled up in.

Killian: No way, give one example of this

Emma: Regina

- - -

Emma: Regina is THICC

Emma: Thoughtful, Honest, Interesting, Caring, Compassionate

Snow: That's...Actually sweet?

Emma: And also, she got a nice ass

- - -

Emma: Once in a fight, I was knocked over in the head and I passed out but honestly that was the best sleep I've had in a few months so who's the real winner here?

Regina: Emma, what the fuck

- - -

David: Every girl wants someone who will treat her like a princess