Change My Mind

Chapter 47 - Delivering Messages

Harry's POV

I pace back and forth in Louis and Eleanor's living room, their heads moving as they follow my franticness.

"I'm an idiot. God, I'm such an idiot!" I run my hands through my hair, pulling at the roots in frustration. "What am I supposed to do now?"

I had filled them in on every stupid thing I did while we went out shopping and they did not hold back in scolding me for what I did. I had told them about the phone call with Lily and how lost I became when she told me that she wanted to spend time apart. I didn't know how to respond. I wanted to tell her that I was absolutely not going through with it and that I wouldn't be able to spend another day without seeing her. I had just got her back and now she doesn't want to be around me anymore.

It's like we broke up all over again.

However, I knew that if I had told her this, it would basically be a plea to have yet another chance. I know I messed up by doing what I did in the dressing room but I couldn't control myself. She was right there in front of me, the scent of her perfume surrounding me in the small confines of the room, her back exposed to me from behind the unzipped dress, my lips inches away from the soft skin of her neck.

I know that I wouldn't even be able to stop myself even if I tried once my lips had come in contact with her neck. And the fact that she had responded to my touch, I knew that I wouldn't be able to stop if my life depended on it.

But then she started crying and I knew that I messed up once again. I promised her that I would stop messing with her head but what she doesn't know is that just being around her, not being able to hold her, messes with my head.

I know that this is all on me because I'm the one that's in a "relationship". I have now come to realize that all of this wouldn't be happening if I hadn't signed that damn contract. I know that I can't go back and change the past. All I can do now is change the future. And since I can't break up with Ivana, all I can do is wait a whole f*cking month before the contract ends.

But I can't wait a whole month. I can't even wait another day.

The only other thing that can happen is for Ivana to break up with me but, like Louis said, I doubt that'll happen. She's an attention-seeking...girl. She loves the fame and she will do anything to get more, no matter who else suffers for it.

So what am I supposed to f*cking do?

My pacing still continues even as Louis clears his throat.

"Harry, there's nothing you can do. Just give her the time and space that she needs right now. If you don't give her that, it'll just push her away even more. She said so herself that it's only for a little while. It's not going to be for forever."

"But I can't even stand being away from her for a day. I'm going to go crazy, especially since I have no idea how long she needs space."

"Why are you so hell-bent on spending every day with her? You have a girlfriend, don't you?" Eleanor says. I can hear the defensiveness in her tone. I can tell that she's upset with what I did to Lily. She's protective of her, I know that but she doesn't know the whole story. I don't blame her for being mad at me right now. I know that her and Lily are close friends now, regardless of the fact that we've known each other longer.

I can see Louis give me an uncomfortable look. I know that he's uncomfortable with the fact that he's keeping a secret from his girlfriend but it's my secret and it would be extremely dangerous if she found out.

The fact that her and Lily tell each other everything, along with the fact that Eleanor will do anything to protect her, I wouldn't doubt that Eleanor would tell Lily right away once she finds out.