Change My Mind

Chapter 66 - Missed Calls

Playlist:

All of the Stars - Ed Sheeran
You R In Love - Taylor Swift
In Repair - John Mayer

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Harry’s POV

This is where I go every night. Our spot. It is hard to come here and be reminded of the amazing times I spent with Lily but it somehow gives me a sense of peace. I just sit on the ledge and look out at the view. At night, I look up at the stars and the moon. I always try to believe that Lily is looking at the moon with me. It’s what brought us together.

I’d like to think that the one that I’m going to spend the rest of my life with is staring up the moon with me at the same time.

I remember when Lily had said that, both of us were looking at the moon at the exact same time. I had that weird feeling inside when she said it. I never thought that that moment would lead to everything that happened to us.

I still believe that what Lily said is true for the both of us. I know it’s scary to think about the future like this but there is no one else I can see myself spending the rest of my life with. It’s only Lily. It’s been her since I had first realized that I was in love with her. I realized it every time I woke up with her beside me, knowing that I wanted to wake up to her every morning.

I realized it every time I kiss her, knowing that I wanted to kiss her again and again.

I realized it when I lost her, realizing that I can’t go one day without seeing her, talking to her, that I wanted nothing more than to be with her again and never part from her.

That’s why I come here to our spot every night to look up at the moon. It gives me peace as it reminds me of what it gave me. It also gives me hope.

And every night here at the spot, I end up going through my phone to look through my pictures. Just the ones that I took of Lily and I together.

The ones we took in her room where I sat behind her and wrapped my arms around her. I smile at every picture, whether we were just smiling, ones where we were making silly faces, ones where I kissed her cheek and others where she kissed mine, ones where we were just looking at each other, ones where she was smiling at the camera while I just smiled looking at her, and ones where we were kissing.

These pictures will never leave my phone. They’ve never left even when we broke up. I had to change the background while I was with Ivana but now that it’s over, I didn’t think twice about putting a picture of Lily and I back.

I’m just holding on to the hope that I’ll get the chance to take more pictures with her again in the future.

It’s been six days since she left and even though sometimes I feel like there’s no more hope, I just come here or I look at Lily’s bracelet or a picture of us together, and I find that hope again. I just have to be patient. I can’t rush this. I need to give her time and space and I have to give that to myself, too. I’ve been tempted to call her or text her every single day but I know that I have to give her some space. If she wanted to talk to me, she would.

Every night I go home from our spot, I go straight to bed and put up the screenshot that Lily took of us when we Skyped the night before she was supposed to meet me in Paris. It was the screenshot she took of us when we went to bed together, both of us lying down and falling asleep together.

I always imagine that it’s happening at this exact moment. I don’t know how but it’s somehow the only thing that helps me go to sleep.

Every night, I always hope and pray that in the morning, I’ll hear from her, through text, through a call, through anything.