Shatter me

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A/N after the giant War, everyone was happy that it was over.
However Percy is acting differently than to what he used to be.
People brushed it if since he got out of Tartarus but the Seven knew something was up.
So they decided to investigate

Warning: depression and suicidal thoughts is in this chapter, if you get triggered by these things then do not read this chapter

Percy's POV
I sighed as I say by the beach.
I just want to relax, try to get the things stuck in my head away.
I want to scream all my problems but I know everyone would judge me for not being the hero they want me to be.
I feel so trapped.
I haven't spoken a lot.
Not even to Annabeth.
I know my friends know somethings up.
But everything's coming down on me.
The deaths that were my fault.
The decisions I've made.
Especially the one when my blood rose up Gaea and killed many.
Heck, evening me being alive changed everything!

If I die...would this all go away?
I mean, no one will miss me...I'm only a pawn for their games.

"Percy?"
I looked up and saw Annabeth.
I fake smiled at her, showing her I'm listening.
"Are you okay?" She asked.
I nodded.
She frowned slightly.
"I'm worried about you" she said, sitting next to me on the sand "You have eaten properly in a while, you hardly sleep and you hardly speak..."
I sighed.
Now she's disappointed.
"I'm sorry" I said.
'It's just I can't say anything without being judged, Annabeth please help me'
The words just can't come out.
She looked at me surprised that I talked.
I looked down.
I hate this.
Not being able to talk without thinking I could offend everyone.
...and lose everyone.
"There is nothing to be sorry about! I'm just worried about you" she said.
She looked at me, her grey eyes glistening with tears.
"I...know that place was hard and you can't get through this alone" She said "You and I both know what that place did to us and...you don't have to act strong all the time"
I looked away from her.
"Look at me Percy!" She exclaimed "Please!"
I stood up and walked away without a word.

"Percy!" I heard Ananbeth exclaim as I went to the cabin area.
I ignored her.
I noticed the rest of the seven looking at Annabeth confused as they hung out at front of Zeus' cabin.
I felt her grab my arm.
"Please" she said "Talk to me"
"Annabeth" Piper asked as she walked towards us with the others "What are you-"
"Percy has hardly spoken a word and...I'm worried" she exclaimed as I pulled my arm away from her grip.
"we all are" Jason said.
I gave him a look saying 'I'm right here you know'
"Percy please, we can help you" Hazel said.
"You can't...no one can" I whispered and turned from them.
'Yes you can, please. I feel lost, I don't know what to feel...please'
'You have to talk to them' I heard Apollo say in my head.
'You can when your ready, they can try and rush you but when it's your time' Oizys said in my head 'Oh gosh, what if they hate us?'
(A/N btw, Oizys is a Greek goddess, you will find out what Greek Goddess She is later)
I almost chuckled at her comment.
"-CY!"
I snapped my attention to them.
I noticed their faces look sad and...pitiful?
They really feel like that?
But what about their feelings if I reveal it.
I can see it in my head.

The whole camp broken that their hero isn't who he said he is.
The gods sad that they have broken their pawn.
Chiron trying to comfort me, but failing.
Leo, confused and doesn't believe me.
Hazel and Piper staring at me with shock.
Jason trying to relate it to him and say 'You'll be okay man'
Frank not knowing what to do.
And Annabeth looking so disappointed I'm not the guy I said I was.

I felt someone slap my face, making me snap towards the guilty looking Annabeth.
"Annabeth" Piper excliamed as I rubbed my right side of my face which was now red.
"I'm okay" I muttered "I'm fine"
'Am I really?'
I wasn't even sure that was for the slap or about myself in total.
A massive lie.
"Percy, I just want to help you" Annabeth whispered and then kissed me on the lips.
As soon as she let's go I touched my lips and felt something inside me change.

I'm cracking.
My shell is cracking.

Annabeth's POV
Percy's face went from emotionless to shock after my kiss with him, leaving me confused.
What is wrong with him?
Maybe Tartarus affected him differently?
"Percy?" Frank asked "Are you okay?"
"I...don't know" he whispered, running to his cabin.
I race after him, only just missing out on the door slamming.
"What do we do now?" Piper asked.
A bright appeared behind us, we turned around to see Apollo smiling sadly.

"Lord Apollo Percy-" I started.
"I know" Apollo said "I have been watching him...Annabeth, just this one time I will give you the ability to listen to Percy's thoughts"
I nodded as I felt Apollo touch my head.
"This will help you and hopefully help Percy..." Apollo said "Comfort him"
I looked at him confused as he walked to his cabin, looking for his children.

I sighed and heard a slight noise.
"are you at the door Percy?" I asked "Please answer me"
Silence.
"I know you don't want to tell us but we're here for you...and we will support you no matter what" Piper said.
'I want to, I want to scream and shout but...what if they don't? I mean, most people hate me anyway' I heard Percy's thoughts in my head.
I gasped, looking at Percy's door with shock.
"Annabeth?" Hazel asked as I said "Scream, shout anything! No one will hate you for anything you say...we miss you Percy, Seaweed brain....I love you"
I heard Percy sigh.
'Wait...why am I shaking?' I heard him say 'Probably scared or something. That's what I am, a cry baby. and when did Annabeth say she loved me? Gosh, she deserves someone so much better than me'
I couldn't stop the tears from going down my face.
"Percy please...you don't have to be alone" I said, my voice cracking "It's breaking my heart to see you like this. It's ripping me apart..."
'I'm doing that to her?' I heard him ask 'I wish I could hug her and kiss her but I can't without thinking all the bad things I put her through...like Tartarus...maybe Oizys is right; I am a living curse to be around; people close to me die and...I don't want them to'
Wait Oizys...like the Goddess of Misery, Anxiety, Grief, and Depression?
Oh Gods.

I opened the door, making Percy who must have been leaning on the door fall onto me.
I caught him, making him look up at me with confusion as he stood up.
I grabbed his arms.
"Don't you dare think of such things Percy, none of that is your fault! Those hero's died to save the world, and don't you dare say we would hate you! We all love you Percy....I love you, don't think that I'm not worthy of you because you are my seaweed brain and I'm never going to leave your ever again"
Percy looked at me with surprise.
I hugged him.
"Please....we're here for-"
I was cut off by Percy letting go of the hug and kissing me roughly and desperately.
As we kissed, I noticed tears fall onto my face.
And they aren't mine.
I let go to see Percy with tears falling down his face.
I immediately hugged him, making him sob.
"Hey you're okay, we're here now" I said.
The rest of the seven quickly joined our hug.
"I'm so sorry, it's just...Tartarus and my negative thoughts they were-"
"Don't be sorry, just know we're going to be here for you" I said "And help you every step of the way"

~~~~

'Somebody shine a light
I'm frozen by the fear in me
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me
So cut me from the line
Dizzy, spinning endlessly
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me!
Shatter me!
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me!

If I break the glass, then I'll have to fly
There's no one to catch me if I take a dive
I'm scared of changing, the days stay the same
The world is spinning but only in gray...'

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