dé·jà vu / déjà vu
noun:
a feeling of having already experienced the present situation. Also known as a tedious familiarity.
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Back at it again with another twisted, emotional rollercoaster, come join...
It was the next day and going on 11:30 in Jamaica. Renae had just finished texting Ayanna asking her when she's coming back because if truth be told she was lonely.
King was in a business meeting almost forty minutes away so that left Renae and the twins.
"Let's get our lil cruise on," She smiled as she buckled the twins up in their car seat.
Renae sported a striped blue and white fitted dress that had hints of red in it with a pair of all white vans on her small feet. She had small hoops in a few other earrings in her ears, she had on light makeup, her lashes on and her brows filled in.
The twins had on matching outfits like her and wore a blue and white spaghetti strap dress that flared out at the bottom. They had white sneakers on their small feet, their hair was up into a sleek ponytail with a white-flowered headband around their head.
After flicking up a picture, Renae sent it to Ayanna before she got situated in the car.
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Cutting the ac on, Renae cut the twins tv on and let Scooby-Doo play as she plugged her phone up to use the GPS just in case she got lost.
"I don't know where we're going but if I see food I'll stop," She laughed looking back at the twins who weren't paying her any mind.
I really gotta get my shit together, she thought to herself as she took the back road.
She had no clue where she was going all she knew was that she needed to get out of the house.
"So... mommy wants to call Papa and apologize, do you think he'll forgive me?" She asked looking at the twins through the rear view.
When they didn't answer she laughed to herself, "That damn Scooby Doo,"
Realizing that they weren't gonna answer any of her questions Renae cut the radio on and hummed along to the songs as she drove.
When she saw a group of kids playing soccer and seeing smoke coming from an area, she decided to pull in.
It was 12:45 and she was hungry and hoped wherever they were at that they had food. She was driving for an hour with no destination in mind, she was doing some thinking and soul searching about her life and the things she could have done better.
She was just upset about everything that she had to go through and although she had help and a good support system she still felt alone at times.
She knew she was far from alone but at times that's how she felt. Nobody really understood how she felt on the inside because it wasn't them who almost lost their lives. It wasn't them who had to lay there and be taken advantage of on multiple occasions, she had help but at the end of the day she picked herself up and forced herself to let things go even though she wasn't ready to, the wounds would always be there and so would the pain.
