Imagines; BTS

Smoking; M.YG

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You never really could explain why you chose to smoke, preferring to destroy your lungs with each and every drag of the cancer stick than talk about your problems. Cigarettes were addictive and they made you feel light headed and problem free, nothing but calmness spreading through your body as soon as the first cloud of smoke left your lips. Not once did you ever think about the consequences of this and what it was doing to your body: it just wasn't your main priority. However, hiding it from your boyfriend Yoongi was.

From the very beginning of your relationship, Yoongi had never kept it a secret that he hated smoking and smokers in general. The thought of slowly milking yourself whilst mistaking it for a stress reliever made Yoongi sick to his stomach and you knew this which is why you were too scared to tell him about your problem. Apart from the small sticks filled with harmful chemicals, Yoongi was your only escape from the troubles you were going through and if you didn't have him then you would have nothing.

After having a particularly hard day at work you wanted nothing more to just light all the cigarettes you had simultaneously and smoke them all at once, just to get away from reality. The minute you got into the safety of your room, after checking that nobody was at home of course, you instantly pulled a cigarette out of your pocket and fumbled with the lighter so that you could get your relief. One drag after another, the disgusting smell of the smoke wafted throughout your room but you were used to it by now, welcoming the familiarity with open arms.

"Hi ba-" Yoongi began as he burst through the door, his wide grin falling once his eyes landed on what was between your lips. The smell made him so feel nauseous that he had to hold his hand to his nose and mouth, this action being the only thing stopping him from throwing up all over the floor. Yoongi couldn't believe his eyes as tears welled up in your own, your lips attempting to explain yourself but there was nothing you could do now. Harshly, Yoongi grabbed the cigarette out of your hand and threw it out of your window, said object quickly being followed by another pack of them. Every cell in your body wanted to reach out and stop him but you didn't, choosing to stay still and let Yoongi have it out with you.

"How...Why...You...I don't even know where to begin Y/n! How could you turn to those things after you know how much damage they do to your body in the long run! Trust me, I know that they may give you an escape from whatever hardships you're going through but it's only temporary. Why didn't you talk to me about it, do you not trust me?" Yoongi stammered while he clutched to the roots of his own hair, trying his hardest to understand why you would do such a thing to yourself. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't get his head around it but then again, neither could you.

"I..I guess I never thought about the long term affect it would have on me, nor did I care. Haven't you ever felt like you just want everything to go away and you'll do anything for that to happen, because that's all I can come up with as to why I do it. How could you even think that I don't trust you Yoongi? I love you with everything I have, you're my only hope for sticking around you know? If I didn't have you I'd have no one, no one at all!" You cried, desperately clinging to Yoongi's sleeve, begging for him to understand what you were saying though you knew he wouldn't. His hate for your habit would overpower anything at this point.

"I'm sorry Y/n but I refuse to stick around and watch you crumble this way. I love you, every god damn bone in your body, I love it all. You just need to figure yourself out and stop relying on it objects and people to be happy because in the end you'll just be a shadow of who you have the potential to be." Yoongi whispered into your ear, kissing your tear stained cheek before pulling away from you. You cried and begged for him to stay but he only looked at you as tears ran down his cheeks, promising you that it wasn't forever.

The feeling wouldn't last forever