Potter | 𝘚𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘶𝘴 𝘉𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬

Chapter 87

Remus left the common room immediately, his eyebrows knitted together, breathing furiously and strolling on.

As he walked across the Hogwarts grounds, the chilly November wind hit him, making him regret that he hadn't taken a coat with him.

His nerves were all over the place as he paced quickly, having no idea where his legs were carrying him, until he finally came across the bridge which separated the castle and Hagrid's hut.

Remus finally slowed down, walking toward the edge of the bridge and looking down at the beautiful view of the mountains and the Black Lake.

He watched his breath evaporate into mist in the frosty air, his mind more messed up than ever.

"Remus?" He jumped at the sudden voice and abruptly turned around, his eyes widening as he saw Lily walking toward him.

"What — what are you doing here?" he said, looking away from her.

"I saw you leave the dorm and followed you here," she answered gently.

"Did anyone else notice that I — you know — left?" he asked hesitantly.

"Not while I was there." She shrugged, walking toward him and so Remus nodded in relief.

When Lily reached him, she rested her elbows on the bridge's fence and leaned her body on it, staring into the distance.

"You know," she started with a smile, "I was always under the impression that you fancied Jenna. Did the fact that you left prove my musings right?"

"I — I honestly don't know," he said earnestly, sighing. "I guess deep down I felt something about her last year. And those feelings could've become stronger if I had let them..."

"Then why didn't you?" asked Lily, turning to look at him. "Why did you reject her, Remus, when you clearly liked her back? You said it could've turned into something stronger if you had let it. So why didn't you let it?"

Remus shook his head, avoiding her gaze. "For many reasons."

"Such as...?"

"Well, for one, we could all tell that for the first few years at Hogwarts Sirius liked Jenna. Why else do you think James came up with his silly rule?" he explained. "I couldn't have just betrayed my friend's feelings and start liking Jenna in fifth year and go out with her."

"But she liked you!"

"There are other things, alright!?" Remus huffed furiously. "Sirius is way better than me in many ways. Way better for her. But me... I'm better off alone."

"Why? Just because you're a werewolf?"

Remus's head promptly jerked toward her, gulping as he took a step back in shock.

"H-how did you know?"

"I didn't," said Lily, now smiling. "I only had a guess. But you just confirmed it for me."

"Then — how — I —"

"It was Severus — back when we were on talking terms, he said that he had a hunch about why you disappeared each month on full moon," said Lily. "But all of a sudden he just miraculously let go of the matter and stopped. That's when I knew something was up."

"Oh..." said Remus, looking away again, his heartbeat speeding up. "Then why are you talking to me now?"

"What do you mean?"

"W-well — I-I understand if you want to stop being around me — I know you must be scared of me now."

"Scared?" Lily giggled. "Why? Just because you become fluffy once a month?"

Remus turned look at her with raised eyebrows, as if he couldn't believe his ears.

"Is that the main reason you turned Jenna down?" Lily asked in a low voice, looking at him nervously.

"I — I didn't want to hurt her," he said.

"But you did it either way!" she retorted. "You keep pushing people back because you think you'd hurt them, not realizing that being away from you is hurtful enough for some of them."

"You don't understand," Remus shook his head again. "I'm not fit for love, Lily. And I'll never be. I'll never get to marry... or to have children."

"Remus, how selfish can you be to deprive the world of having such a wonderful person like you," said Lily, chuckling. "Anyone would be lucky to have you."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better," said Remus, even though he was now smiling.

"No, I'm not," she shook her head earnestly. "Besides, not every relationship has to end up in marriage. You can just... you know... enjoy the moment."

Remus narrowed his eyes at her in mock-suspiciousness. "That's not a very Lily-thing to say. Who are you?"

She laughed, but then it faded into a sad smile. "I'm just saying that you don't have to beat yourself up just because of what people think of you. Yes, I'm a Muggleborn, but that doesn't make me less worthy of being here. And yes, you are a werewolf, but that doesn't take away from the fact that you are one of the sweetest people who has ever walked this earth."

Remus felt overwhelmed by those words and his heart lifted up as he turned to look at her.

"Thank you, Lily," he said, smiling at her. "I really needed that."