𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 (Discontinued)

Chapter 41 - Insecurities

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The atmosphere was tense. The meeting was done. Y/n and Yeji sat on opposite sides of the table, Y/n avoiding her eyes. Yeji kept her gaze on Y/n as he looked away constantly. As I said before, the meeting was finished, their manager just thought to arrange a meeting between ITZY, Straykids, Twice, GOT7 and Vortex. Y/n's eyes were on Tzuyu and Yeji didn't like the fact Y/n was admiring another woman infront of her. Y/n was getting glares from the same 5 pairs of eyes as Y/n and Tzuyu were beside each other talking to each other. The constant chattering and momentary laughs they shared as they finally genuinely have met each other. Y/n and Tzuyu started getting to know each other, they switched topics every few minutes. Y/n told Tzuyu where he came from and from which company he was recruited from, congratulating Tzuyu on their new comeback and complimenting her on her Vocals and Visuals. Tzuyu was flattered, yet she continued to thank Y/n for the compliments. Y/n started asking Tzuyu on how hard it is to be an Idol. Tzuyu told Y/n about the the occasional TV shows, Programs, Performances, Concerts and more. The information sunk in slowly in the Younger man's mind, His mind was going haywire but the thought of being able to do all that work in just a couple weeks would be a blessing to Y/n. This would allow him to confirm that he finally trained enough. After Y/n Tzuyu's talk, they both exchanged numbers before they went their sperate ways.

Time skip

The atmosphere was cold, the droplets poured down atop the city of Seoul. Y/n stared out the window pane, admiring the calming noise of the rain hitting the pavement. The fog blurred the outside streets of Seoul as Y/n took a breath in. He shouted the moment, he knew that the start of this career would be a whole different world, full of flashing lights and talented people. He had doubts at first, but now it just worsened. How was he supposed to stand out in the sea of talented people that are already in the industry, how was he supposed to shine when anyone could easily outshine him. He never felt worry hit him this hard, maybe it was his brain overthinking again, but then again he knew this question would be inevitable. He loved the industry, the musicians in it too, he loved that the fans would pour their hearts out for their favorite idols. But he didn't believe he would be able to satisfy the countless of people who would be listening to his music. His heart pounded as he gripped hard on his hair, he pulled on his hair out of frustration as he started to hyperventilate. His breathing quickening as he closed his eyes as his vision became blurry because of the liquid collecting on his eyes. His mind kept thinking of how he would fail to reach other artist in the industry, failing to keep his mind from jumping to conclusions. He was only human. He sobbed softly, he was alone. The dorm was empty with the only exception of himself. Y/n had his hands gripping onto his hair as he ducked his head as his tears streamed down his cheeks uncontrollably. His mind was clouded with his own insecurities, Y/n was chocking lightly as he sobbed uncontrollably. His throat felt as if it was closing in on itself and his chest was burning as his tears cascaded down his cheeks. Those same thoughts, those same words, those same voices whispered in his head. His voice was cracking ever so slightly as he sobbed, the sight was horrid. Y/n then tried to regain himself by looking out the window again, trying to focus on the calming sounds of the pouring rain. His sobbing was dialing down but the voices in his head became louder, chanting the same haunting words to him.

Suddenly, a warm sensation surrounded itself around Y/n's torso. Then Y/n realized it was a person, the person was hugging him as his tears still was cascading down his cheeks. "It's okay, you can cry." A gentle voice called out to Y/n as he sniffled and tried to muffle the sound of him sobbing. Y/n did what the voice said, he continued to let out his emotions trying not to sob too loud, he didn't want to worry the person. As Each droplet of year went down his cheeks he let out a small sob. The voices in Y/n's mind was soon drowned out with the sound of the rain, Y/n started to calm down. Slowly Y/n stopped crying, only small sniffles came out of his mouth. "Are you okay now? Can we talk about it?" The gentle voice once called out again as they tightened their grip on Y/n's shoulders in which Y/n responded by only nodding his head, not having enough confidence in his voice to talk "Okay, can you look at me please?" The voice said and Y/n slowly turned around, meeting eyes with the person.  Lia smiled softly at Y/n who had a puffy face with red cheeks and a runny nose. Y/n tried his best to wipe away any excess snot on his nose before trying to talk. "I'm sorry you had to see me like, like that." Y/n sniffled as his voice cracked a bit, Lia chuckled and reached her hands out cupping Y/n's face. "You shouldn't be saying sorry Y/n it's fine. Can you tell me why you were crying?" Lia said softly caressing Y/n's cheeks with both of her thumbs, Y/n who found her voice and her features soothing nodded and started talking trying his best not to sniffle "Well, since I started training I was always insecure of how good I was in both dancing and singing. That's why I tried each and every genre I could. I tried every technique and tried to master it. I thought maybe if I could copy some people I would be as good as them one day. But honestly, I don't know when the day that I will be valid for myself will come. I want to be good, I want to make people smile, cause I never want other people to feel like what I felt before." Y/n said looking away from the gaze that Lia held. Lia's eyes softened at how sweet this man in front of her actually was, it made her heart swell. Lia had a certain urge, an itch per se. Lia leaned her forehead on Y/n's and met his eyes, the world seemed to stop whenever they were close. Nothing else existed. Nothing else mattered but them. The gazing they shared made them both smile, "Y/n, I am so proud I got to meet an angel like you. Seriously you are one of the best rapper, singer, dancer or whatever I've ever seen and heard. One of the most thoughtful people I've ever met too, please don't doubt yourself like this. You're always doing your best and that is the one thing I like about you." Lia said blabbering with a soft tone lacing her words, her words soothed Y/n's mind and heart as all the pain he once felt slowly disappeared as he stared into Lia's beautiful chocolate eyes. "Y/n, wether or not you know this you make so many people smile already. So many care about you, so many people are still going to care for you." Lia said as she soothed Y/n's jaw with her own thumbs running on his soft cheeks.

To be continued...