I Promise, I'll Leave! But, With No Regrets!!

Chapter 99

♦Chapter 99: Desires and Skepticism♦

Noises came out from all different directions. The vendors advertised each and every product that were available in their stalls, attracting the customers' attention. Meanwhile, a few that coincidentally stumbled upon their own acquaintances, chattered to one another.

The market town was a very lively and crowded place. To the point that I couldn't help but feel amazed and a bit overwhelmed by the new experience. But luckily, by then, my dearest mother was by my side, gently yet firmly grasping my hand.

"Don't let go, okay? It's bad if we get separated in a place like this."

"Mhm!!", I cheerfully replied to my mother's considerate advice.

We roamed around the place, searching for the necessary items that were listed on a note that we prepared in advance. While we were at it, I've learned the existence of currency, often used to buy off items that could be afforded. However, mother cancelled the teaching for the moment, prioritizing the objective of our visit at the marketplace.

We stopped in front of a peculiar stand not long after, and soon, I watched mother negotiate with the vendor, right by her side. It was then that an object caught my attention, the moment I shifted my gaze into somewhere else as a whimsical attempt.

It was a portable-sized, fluffy creature. No- rather than a creature, it was a lifeless stuffed animal. It had two, round, bead-like, blue eyes, and a smile stitched on its mouth part. A blue-laced ribbon was tied around its neck, matching its whole's snow, white color.

It was a very eye-catching toy for children of my age, back in the day. And thus, I was naturally allured by it too. But even if I had the urge to ask my mother to buy it for me, I stopped having the thought of it midway.

Seeing how classy it was displayed beyond the showcase of a store with a well-received reputation, I could guess how pricey it could've been. My mother has done all the work on her own to make a living for the sake of ourselves, and I sort of guessed that we'd be in a bind if I suddenly proposed about wanting to buy something expensive.

I didn't wish to put a burden to her, just because of my selfish wishes. That's why, I gave up on the toy while regretting it a little bit later on.

But then, during the morning of my fifth birthday, a big surprise awaited me.

"Ta-dah!! Happy Fifth Birthday, mom's precious Lissa!!!", mother congratulated me with a moderately loud voice, as soon as I entered the living room.

"Eh...", I was speechless due to the shock that I took when a familiar figure reached my view.

It was the same stuffed animal that I saw at the marketplace. Though it was a bit disturbing as to why my mother didn't choose to pack it in a box or something for a more thrilling surprise, a spilling amount of excitement swiftly rushed into my chest.

"You wanted this, didn't you?"

"Mom......"

I thought I hid it well on the surface back then, but I guess it didn't work on my mother in actuality. Nonetheless, I was happy. Although all I could do was appreciate my mother's hard work for granting me what I desired for, the beaming smile that showed up on my face that time was as genuine as my love for her.

"How would you like to name it?"

"Hmm......"

After putting a lot of thought to it for a brief moment, a good name, befitting of its white color has crossed my mind.

"Claire...! Her name is Claire!!"

"It's a nice name.", she praised my decision as I giggled with a considerable amount of joy.

Then after a second or two has passed, I expressed my gratefulness as a manner of fine respect to the someone that poured her efforts for the sake of my contentment.

"Thank you... mom.", I smiled.

It was then that my view started to fade little by little, and a careful voice of some sort kept calling out to me, allowing myself to regain my consciousness.

"......ady... Milady."

I slowly opened my eyes and found myself to have dozed off during my way back home, leaning my head over the left side of the carriage.

"We've arrived, Milady."

"...Oh...... sorry about that.", I slowly replied, being swallowed by the drowsiness after having my short nap interrupted.

I woke up just to realize that I've dreamt about the past once again, only to reminisce of those innocent days where the person who was the gentlest to me still existed.

But now, she's gone. And that's an unavoidable fact, no matter how much I try to deny it.

Thinking that, I was reminded of the Duke's words, days ago. Perhaps, he and I were of the same kind. For while he once lost my mother, it was followed by the death of the child that she left behind for his sake. Thus, his obsession toward Sherryl was something which could be more than enough to affect his sanity.

But, why do I need to care about his circumstances? He, himself, prefers to prioritize his own greedy wishes over his surroundings. That just proves how every single human possesses a selfish side within themselves. And I'm no different from them.

Just like the Duke, I'm nothing more than a very selfish person, being unable to bear the fact that he still traps himself into the past as he took advantage of my existence, eventually throwing me away after all of the sweet words and warm actions that he told and showed me. Of course, I am more than aware that it's partly my fault for being swept away because of that. Nevertheless...

Has he ever even thought of how I felt as soon as I learned of this, as a child who innocently craved for a fatherly love?

I loathe him so much that I wish to let him pay for what he's done to me in all of those years that I've suffered due to this trauma. But even if I exhaust myself attempting to do something like that, what good thing comes after?

I doubt it that I'd feel much satisfied after seeing his ruin. After all, what I pursued or sought for was...

Happiness, to make it clear.

Isn't that right...? Me. I asked myself, with confidence.

Just when I finished sorting out my thoughts while I entered the main entrance of the mansion, a young man whose irises were of the same kind to the banished Duchess of Shevaria, has reached my sight.

It was my half-brother, Lucian.

Oh sh*t, here we go again... I thought, sniffing the smell of a headache of a situation that would approach.

As long as I lingered around this family... Or perhaps, the whole nobility- All I could foresee were events that'd cause me a pain in the neck. And now, here I am, being tired of this kind of daily life where I can't just go and take a break to relax, forgetting all the unpleasant things.

Ahh... Please come by already, my eighteenth birthday!! I screamed, internally.

"Greetings, young master. May you have a good trip.", I bowed and lifted my skirt in both sides, tip-toeing one foot on the back and gave my regards to my brother, who seemed to have prepared about stepping outside for the accomplishment of some sort of assignment.

He silently went past me and paused behind my figure, whispering a set of words.

"When I come back, make sure to come when I demand for your attendance."

"Let's meet again later, Melissa."

Saying that, he went past the doorway and shut it closed, preventing me from looking back to see his profile for the last moment.

An event that hasn't occurred in the previous timeline, and a straight-cold tone mixed in his manner of speech. It seems like we'll be having a serious, one-on-one conversation.

Come to think of it, I never came across Lucian since the time that we heard that the Duchess has been sentenced of a banishment, from the Duke's mouth.

"Hah..."

There's no way, right? I couldn't help but question the reason behind the invitation, having an obscure suspicion about it.