I Promise, I'll Leave! But, With No Regrets!!

Chapter 42

♦Chapter 42: All I Wanted Was...♦

"Ah......."

With a panicky expression, Lucian looked unsure of what he would do as he watched me crying before his eyes. Meanwhile, the Duke immediately went by my side in a flustered manner.

"M-Melissa...!!", he shouted.

Good grief.... I thought once I heard the way the Duke addressed me.

I was happy with just something as simple as that. And that resulted me to want to cry further, at the same time.

As an adult, crying over this might've been lame of me. But, who cares if I look lame at a moment like this?

'I want to let it out.'

That was the only objective that helplessly grabbed my attention and will.

Their eyes gently gazed at me with a sense of genuine care. This was the first time I saw them like this toward me, even though they were quite aware of who I really am right now.

If..... Yes. If the purpose of why I went back in time was for this all along, then... I want to believe.

I know that it will be foolish of me to believe that there might still be a tiny hope between me and the Shevarias. But, even if that was the case... I'd like to try being a fool again.

And I swear to myself that I will not regret this decision.

"In truth, I didn't want it like this."

Right. I didn't wish for things to end up like this deep inside, all the time. It was very hard to bear how one of them didn't see me as who I really was, while the other didn't seem like a person that would really include me as a part of his family.

I hated it that I didn't share the same blood as them, thinking that they would open up to me for even a tiny bit if we had a connection as a relative or anything. And I often shed my tears for the fact that I would always be an outsider to them, no matter how many times I try to enter the picture of their family.

I legitimately yearned for a change when it came to that issue.

"In truth, I didn't want to leave."

Yes. I didn't really wanted to bid them farewell. After all, I still yearned and expected for a day where we would reunite as a family again and start over.

Frankly, I hoped that they would stop me from leaving instead, though that might've been sly of me. But still, will those ideals of mine ever get fulfilled...?

It has become something very hard to believe by now, knowing that they didn't even bother to say their goodbyes to me when I left the house in my past life.

Perhaps, that was when I finally noticed that I needed to give up my anticipations when it comes to the matters that involve the whole Shevaria Family.

"In truth....... I wanted to be loved."

The longing to be loved...

Thinking it back right now, that was the reason why I envied either Lucian or Sherryl. As well as the answer of why I began to resent them bit by bit...

And the Duke might've already been included in the 'them' that I mentioned of. After all, no matter how long I wait for him to return back to his affectionate self toward his daughter, nothing but a cold gaze would look by my way.

A gaze with no warmth, consolation, and gentleness.

As I continuously uttered the following sentences, Lucian and the Duke agonized with me. They both wrapped me in their embrace and comforted me while gently petting my head and my back.