I Promise, I'll Leave! But, With No Regrets!!

Chapter 29

♦Chapter 29: A Failure As A Mother♦

After that occurrence, Lucian started to open up more to the Duke. Well frankly, it was just like their relationship got fixed back to what it used to be.

"........Wait. If I think about it carefully, was I the one that interfered their good relation?"

"Are you talking about the Duke and my son? You're way too late to notice that.", the Duchess replied to the question that I accidentally blurted out aloud.

"So it's my fault?!"

"Technically, yes."

It was a simple and blunt answer and yet it meant a lot to me.

I really realized that fact just now since I hadn't pondered much about it back then.

Well, let's just continue pretending that I still don't know about that..... I concluded, fleeing from that issue.

Afterwards, I shifted my gaze toward what was framed beyond the windows.

"It stopped snowing.......", I whispered as I stared at a part of the mansion where everything was covered in white.

Then soon after that, the Duchess unexpectedly made a suggestion.

"Would you like to take a stroll outside?"

That question encouraged me to respond with a swift nod.

It has been so long since I decided to laxly take a stroll and appreciate the view on the outside as a breather. Nowadays, wasting my time over useless things was a thing that would cross my mind once in a blue moon.

As I kept aging, I gradually became uninterested in unessential things except for those kind of literatures called novels, which could ease my uneasiness and give me satisfaction whenever I get bored. I even lost my interest over fashion, though I could pick whichever that would suit me the best so easily.

Equipped with coats, the Duchess and I have set our feet onto the thick layer of snow that hid the ground's surface.

The tall trees became a great model of winter because of its Christmas Tree-like figure. Its resemblance made me remember what happened during last year's Christmas.

Well, it's basically a common story where everyone in the house have made great preparations for the celebration. And the greatest thing that I could remember that time was that I received several valuable gifts-

That were destined to be sold away.

Nothing can beat my main objective, after all. It's my priority.

"I thought you wanted to play around with the snow.", said, the Duchess.

As if I'd do such childish thing. That would only add up into my dark histories...!

I'm mentally an adult, so it would be a very embarrassing in many ways.

-- Were the phrases that I wanted to say, but that wouldn't be a valid reason to the Duchess that doesn't know anything about my situation, would it?

Giving her a reply was more difficult than I thought. If I answer her with denial, it's possible that she would think that I was trying to act mature in front of her. Nonetheless, it's not like I could feign my ignorance over this too.

"I'm fine just by watching the view.", I refrained with a flawless beam.

And while the Duchess appeared to suspect my smile, I thought,

Just look at this innocent face! Understand that I'm being genuine!

Soon, the Duchess looked back to the view and gave me a simple reply.

"Is that so.", she uttered.

Did she buy it...? I questioned nobody in my mind.

I couldn't guess Duchess Fleurette's thoughts about it, so in the end, I stopped paying my mind over something as trivial as that.

"Speaking of snow, my son used to play with it when he was in the same age as you."

".....I can't picture elder brother doing that."

"Of course, you can't. That child has already acted mature from the time that you entered the manor."

In my past life, although the Duchess and I have been good friends, we never really revealed any information concerning ourselves to each other. And thus, this might've been the first time that she opened up to me like this.

Nevertheless, 'mature' huh.....

Hearing the word 'mature' made me recall the times that Lucian was with me.

Just as I said earlier, I couldn't really imagine the Lucian that would play with snow like most children would do. But, I didn't mean it to be something that would match with the Duchess' interpretation.

With that, I came to understand...

That Duchess Fleurette doesn't know much about her own son.

One of a parents' role was to understand his or her children.

In Duchess Fleurette's case, it could be either the lack of knowledge or understanding to her child.

Truthfully, I'm just an outsider so I don't want to meddle much between the affairs of the Shevaria Family. But, I couldn't just ignore the Duchess that became my only friend in this place, (though she once tried to kill me).

If I were to hesitate between my decisions, then the answer is simple. And that is to provide her the least support that I could give.

"Elder brother is far from being mature, Duchess. That child... is just being forced to act that way because of his responsibilities."

"The responsibility as the sole heir of Shevaria. Is that it?"

"Yes. But I say, that's not the only reason."

"What else is there?"

Before I could respond to her question, with my eyes closed, I smiled.

"That is up to you to know as brother Lucian's mother."

That moment, for the first time, the Duchess showed her honest emotions on her face.

Her eyes thoroughly widened. Not by surprise, but realization. As such, I came to know that my support would surely have some good results. But that is whether the Duchess would choose to make a move.

"It seems like you're more knowledgeable about my son compared to me."

Of course, I am. I came from the future, after all!~ I proudly boasted in my thoughts.

"Say, you also think that I was a failure as a mother, don't you?"

"Yes.", I briefly replied with honesty.

".........I, myself, knew about that too. But..... I can't."

The Duchess' voice started to waver. And without even looking at her, I was aware...

That tears have already billowed down her cheeks.