I Promise, I'll Leave! But, With No Regrets!!

Chapter 125

♦Chapter 125: Presentiments♦

[]Melissa's Perspective []

I've always longed for a friend.

A friend that would take my side no matter the potential of sharing the scornful gazes that often looked at me. A person that wouldn't disagree to my very own beliefs and instead, would make an effort to bring a smile on my face with comforting words and actions.

To be honest, I couldn't have referred such a person a friend by those terms. Much less, anyone would've been fine, and even empty phrases could've sufficed.

As long as that person treated me as an equal being...

"Papa... would you mind sending an invitation to the Faremannes too?", I've pretended to be meek with that sentence for once, expecting the attendance of the first son of the mentioned Barony in my first birthday celebration since I went back in time.

Back in the day, without thinking things through as much, I insisted on prioritizing even the briefest meeting with the young Aiden, even if the percentages of our meeting would be handled by whims of many, different people's perspectives.

I had high hopes for the influence of his presence by the time that we'd come into contact and eventually become true friends, just as how we formed a closer bond after clashing our swords in a practice match with no audience, in the previous timeline.

But to actualize my wishes, one could say that I was simply desperate to slip through the loneliness of solitude by taking advantage of such a convenient excuse. Nevertheless, it wasn't as powerful, to the point that I could easily give in the thought of having an ally.

Hence, the moment I laid my eyes on his face alongside a confirmation of his beauty mark, I was overjoyed. Not to mention, although by accident, I managed to keep him close to my side soon after the circumstances unfolded, reaching the peak of my ideals.

That is, while feigning ignorance of the price that brutally disregarded the honor that originally lied in his fate.

And as my childish side gradually ceased from my way of thinking along the passage of time till the present, it was already too late to regret and make up for my sin.

'I shouldn't have gotten ahead of myself to involve him in my matters.'

'I shouldn't have thought of befriending him once more.'

Even infinitely reminding myself of those words before I close my eyes and sleep every night felt so pointless. So pointless that I could only degrade my worth again by supposing how useless of a person I was to be incapable of doing anything to express how much I longed to repent.

Therefore, when my ears and my sight captured the way he saw me as the woman he loved so earnestly and one-sidedly throughout all of the years that has passed, my sole option was to cower in fear.

The guilt that I hid in my chest grew heavier in an instant.

Even though I also bore similar feelings toward him to a certain point, and felt greater joy before I could react differently after a second or two, neither could I accept the suffering that I would bring as a result of my acknowledgement to his sincere confession.

As I expertized at running away from the truths that endlessly broke my fragile heart, regardless of being cowardly or not, I pushed him away and internally cried with limitless apologies;

'I shouldn't have brought him into my life...!', I wept while holding back the tears, as I leant my back on the door by the balcony, back in the middle of the grand feast.