I Promise, I'll Leave! But, With No Regrets!!

Chapter 21

♦Chapter 21: Genuine Happiness♦

I stared at the chandelier that lit up my room in a listless way. Just then, I came back to my senses and thought,

Wait. What was I doing again...?

Thereafter, I got up from the bed and looked at the stuffed animal that was nearby.

"....."

Soon enough, I grabbed and embraced it in my arms. Then, I laid my back onto the comfy bed once more.

Too many things happened today that I don't even know where to start if I were to input it in a diary. Well, it's not like I have a diary in the first place...

I don't have any time left to spare for a diary. My everyday here have always been busy.

Acting like a good girl, thinking strategies for my own sake, pretending to be in good terms with the persons that I need for my plans (except for the Duchess and my brother, probably?). I also needed to regain my strength for precautions in the near future, at that.

The only thing that I could do was to sigh, knowing that there's no other way to achieve my goal.

I feel like abandoning it all because of my exhaustion, but... I can't. I mustn't. If I do, I'll just meet my ruin again after all. I can't entrust myself to fate.

"This is tiring.....", I whispered and closed my eyes thoroughly with my brows furrowed.

Is this what they call stress, I wonder...? Haa....... I don't want to think anymore...

Things were better when I was just a simple commoner. Even if my clothes weren't as extravagant as what I wore these days, it was better than being naked at least. And so are the necessities back in those days compared to what I had today.

Yes, that's right. My happiness back then were very genuine.

If only mom didn't leave.....

My mom....... was a very beautiful person.

Even though I longed for a father for once, I was never unsatisfied by the way she gave me her care and affection.

She was very radiant, elegant, and warm. And I loved how she smiled before me with her gentle demeanor.

I idolized her whole that I had a childish dream to be someone like her when I grow up.

Just by looking at her, I felt like my day would be filled with happiness.

But then.......

"Poor her....... Her mother got into an accident, right?"

"I heard that person was her only family. Will she be okay on her own?"

"That will be impossible, won't it? She's still too small to be able to make a living for herself."

As people flocked around to murmur about my matters, I looked down the grave of dirt that was the least that could be given for my mother.

With the same stuffed toy, grasped tightly in my right hand, I stared at the grave with my eyes that looked so dead.

I was..... left alone.

I has been taken lightly for being a brat, resulting my home to be sold out to strangers.

I begged my neighbors to take me in but no one could accept me.

With only a toy in my hand, I traveled house by house to find someone that could kindly adopt me.

I was only five years old that time and yet because I starved, I had no choice but to steal food from the marketplace, ask for leftovers from restaurants, find edible things from trash cans, and others.

Day by day, the food that I claimed was getting lesser as I get thinner at the same time.

My body gradually became weaker. Then, I was eventually caught from stealing food and was beaten up even in my pitiful state in one of those dark alleys at towns.

With the despair that I experienced that time, I came to know...

That my genuine happiness has died for long.

I blinked for several times after waking up from a very short nightmare kind of dream.

And the first image that popped up in front of my eyes just after I woke up from my nap was...

"I was supposed to wake the young miss up, but... It seems like my help was no longer necessary."

Way to ruin my mood, old geezer. I thought while I gazed at the Butler.

I rose from my bed after that, then asked,

"Is it dinner time already?"

"It is, young miss. His grace awaits for you at the dining room."

"I see. Also, you shouldn't bother to escort me there anymore, Butler Giles. I can go there by myself, by now.", I said with my usual fake smile.

It took a few seconds before the Butler could give me a reply.

"..... I understand.", he uttered with a bow then went away.

And when he finally left me behind just like an obedient dog, I rubbed my chin with my left hand as I gazed at the door where he just made an exit.

Very suspicious, indeed.......

At times like those, the old geezer would most likely do his best to persuade me with due respect. But look at what he did just now!

He must've plotted something.

Nevertheless, this was quite amusing to see.~

"Fool.", I said with a low voice and grinned like a devil before continuing my speech.

"Haha....."

"Hahahahahahahahahahaha...!!"

I laughed as if I've gone mad.

But there was no way that I could hold my laughter in because it was getting helplessly funny.

"You'll get to know it. You'll know it very very soon.~", I snickered with great joy.

"You're digging your own grave, old man.~"