I Promise, I'll Leave! But, With No Regrets!!

Chapter 41

♦Chapter 41: Confrontation (2)♦

I unconsciously bit my lower lip as I faced Lucian.

The way he harshly grabbed my shoulders made me recall our last meeting before I died. It was a bad memory, to think that he would still be that violent toward me even though I was given of a punishment to be tortured day by day, before the guillotine gets prepared to cut off my head, that time.

My lips bled. My hatred began to rise again on the surface.

During my last meeting with Lucian in my past life, he didn't even try to care about me for the least.

I have been driven to the corner by despair. And yet, instead of showing me mercy out of pity, he continued to let me suffer like what everyone else did. He loathed me as if I was a villain. And he always looked at me with a gaze that expressed that my existence, itself, was a disgrace to his family.

In short, it was just like he wanted me to disappear. Or perhaps, he meant that he wished for my death so that everything would get settled already.

But did he even think for once that I was hurt by his mistreatment?

"What do you know..."

"What...?", he asked, being unable to perceive the words that I spouted earlier.

I gritted my teeth as my eyes narrowed.

I hate him. I thought and rephrased it soon after.

I hate them all.

"Why did I bring that up, you ask? The answer is obvious, isn't it?"

"Because the two of you are not my family anymore."

My answer defined what I exactly wanted to tell them. But not quite in a way. Because from the start, they were never my family.

It took a few seconds before Lucian could respond to me. And before he spoke, the force of his hands that grabbed my shoulders slowly loosened up until it has completely let go.

"What are you-..."

His voice wavered as he uttered those words.

"You can't understand what I said? Very well. I shall rephrase it for you."

"I quit. Being your younger sister, I mean."

I glanced at the Duke's direction, then added,

"And being 'Sherryl'."

The servants that watched us from afar had panicky expressions. They couldn't seem to decide whether they should interrupt us or not.

We might've put them in a hard position.

Soon, the Duke whispered.

"Why......."

"Why are you doing this...?"

I pretended that I didn't hear his question and shifted my gaze away from him. Afterwards, I spoke on my own pace.

"I am Melissa. A person of common birth that was adopted to the Shevaria Family. And a person... that was given of a role to be a substitute of Duke Shevaria's late daughter, Sherryl."

Silence lingered for seconds. Then putting up a brave face, I looked back to the Duke and continued to speak.

"I will break my ties with the Shevaria Family.", I straightforwardly said.

'There is no going back now.'

Knowing that I have already pointed out my intention aloud, that phrase voiced itself in my mind.

"However..... Though this might be selfish of me, I request for the Duke to permit my stay in this mansion until I reach the age of eighteen-"

"You must be crazy.", Lucian interrupted.

".......I know that what I am asking for is unreasonable, young mas-"

"That's not it!!"

"That's not it.....", he repeated, but in a lower voice than earlier.

We were once again enveloped with tranquillity while I waited for Lucian to speak again. Just by looking at his face, I was able to guess that he still had the urge to say something to me.

Just then, I noticed something strange.

Somehow, I feel empty.....

I couldn't feel a single emotion flowing inside of me. But then, I considered that fact as a boon. Because all thanks to that, I will be able to let the current happenings pass by without feeling miserable.

No needles will continuously pierce my heart if something goes wrong. And I could simply hope that that would really be the case. But anyhow, it's not like I wanted to tackle an event that would dig a hole in my heart amid the situation too. If possible, I don't want that to happen at all.

But everytime I have such desire, something will undoubtedly happen. Something that would make my chest feel heavy.

And it appears that my doubt wasn't wrong.

"Is there really a need to do this...?"

The moment that I perceived Lucian's statement, I froze out.

As I thought, I was just hallucinating by the way that I thought I couldn't feel a single emotion in me. It was still there, waiting for a moment to strike out of the blue.

The question that Lucian asked me... It perfectly imitated what I asked myself a lot, these years. And strangely, he didn't miss a single word from what I always used in my own phrase.

'Is there really a need to do this?', huh......

Truthfully, I have yet to find an answer to that question. And so it is even now, to the point that I even start to wonder if I will really find one.

'I need to stop expecting for something that will never happen.'

'I must put an end to this.'

Using those statements as an excuse to flee from thinking things through, I often tried to forget about the questions that needed to be answered eventually.

It was not like I couldn't seem to find an answer, but because I was afraid of knowing what it would be.

The made-up excuses that I told myself for countless times also made a point in actual.

Right now, I could finally understand. The reason why I feared and refused to hear the answer that resided me already, all this time. And the reason why I kept forcing myself to deny it.

I was happy that I was able to have a realization about it. But at the same time, deep sorrow has befallen on me.

Until before I knew it, water fell down my cheeks. A salty water that endlessly dripped down my face.