{𝓓𝓞𝓡𝓑𝓨𝓝 𝓞𝓝𝓔-𝓢𝓗𝓞𝓣𝓢}

151.

Summary: song fic!
also 5/5 boys not jst dorbyn lolzies

Song: Be Myself

《《《《《《》》》》》》

where do I start? All these thoughts inside my head colliding, I decide im staying in tonight..

Corbyn wasn't surprised when he felt his chest heavy, and mind going haywire. it didn't happen all the time, but it happened frequently to be aware of it when it did happen. So here he was, laying in his room, on his bed, thumb sliding back and forth of his homescreen.

he didn't want to go on Instagram or Twitter, but he didn't want to be off his cellular device, cause then he'd have to pay attention to the thoughts, and they were already overpowering everything else.

it was a good thing he decided to stay home rather than go on the so called relaxing walk. maybe it could be relaxing, not with Paparazzi though, so home it was.

they say follow your heart, but it's beating uncontrollably, I can't hear what it's telling me this time.

his heart hurt. Every time. No particular reason, maybe it was the self pity he felt. or how he felt unhappy, and he was aware of that, and he didn't like to be unhappy. he didn't know, and it made his heart race everytime someone asked him if he was okay, because he didn't know if he was.

we're dancing on the edge, of anxiety's ledge and I won't fall again, I won't fall..
we're walking down a rope, of worry, and I hope, that I don't fall again, I don't fall...

he finally managed to talk to someone about it. that person being jack, he felt somewhat exposed. like he had opened himself up too much, and that makes him for wary, and scared.

but jack held his hands, and he comforted him. comforted him and told him that it was okay to feel like that, and lost, because that was just the process of finding himself again.

Jack talked to him about his anxiety, and how he felt, and what he did to help him, not get rid of it, but to learn and grow.

take me, somewhere, I can be, I can be myself.. oh take me, somewhere, I am free, free to be myself...
and nothing else

and Corbyn decided that if there was anyone he had to go to for his feelings, it'd be jack.

with Jack he didn't feel so small and lost, he felt understood, and he appreciated that a lot.

i've never had pride, for myself, and I'm proud of that, cause I know that I'm just somebody else.

corbyn walked into the kitchen to see Jonah staring at the wall intently, clearly something was bugging him. Corbyn thought about leaving him alone, to let him figure it out, but if Corbyn was Jonah, he'd want someone to talk it out of him.

Corbyn learned something new about his bandmate: he wasn't happy with himself.

and for the first time, Corbyn saw Jonah as not the big almighty, older member. He saw him as Jonah, his best friend who was sad with himself, who didn't know how to please everyone and himself at the same time.

so why do I try? try to find my validation, in what everybodys saying, I need some help..

jonah appreciated Corbyn for asking, and he appreciated jack for letting him talk about his feelings to them both. it was a big relief to not only Jonah, but to Corbyn as well.

because now jonah had someone to talk to.

we're dancing on the edge, of anxiety's ledge and I won't fall again, I won't fall..
we're walking down a rope, of worry, and I hope, that I don't fall again, I don't fall...

Corbyn also learned that night, that Daniel was the same. insecure, hated the way he precieved himself, the way he was sometimes. it was shocking to him, that someone so lovely as Daniel, could be so sad.

shock that all of his bandmates were so sad, and himself. they practically had everything they wanted, could ask for, but no longterm happiness, Corbyn realized. they were happy, definitely, just not happy enough.

and that was okay, he learned to deal and grow.

take me, somewhere, I can be, I can be myself.. oh take me, somewhere, I am free, free to be myself...
and nothing else

One night Zachary took them to this building, run down, no business, but a nice rooftop. a rooftop with a rug, and a chair. how Zach managed to get it up there was something Corbyn would ask him in the future, but right now Corbyn was appreciative for Zachary. appreciated that he showed all of them this place where he felt okay and safe.

he decided to share his place of relaxation and peace with his best friend, because just like Corbyn, he realized that it was time for them to have a place to be okay, and safe, and...
themselves

we're dancing on the edge, of anxiety's ledge and I won't fall again, I won't fall..

they'll get through it, Corbyn concluded as they all sat in silence watching the stars. they'd get through it together, and they wouldn't have to worry about anyone else, but themselves and each other.

《《《《《《》》》》》》

Feelings: valid

I've been so sad lately guys lolzies.

♡STAY GOLD♡