Chapter 59

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Hayden

"Maybe if you trusted me three years ago, things would have been different."

I stared out at the window where the moon shined directly into my office. It was dark, clouding my mind as I rested back on my chair. The back of my hand rested over my lips. My mind drifted back to Clara. I couldn't let her be in Tarrin anymore, but her stubborn nature was killing me.

Someone knocked on the door, and I turned around to see Xander who was carried by my mother. She walked inside and pressed the lamp on my desk, lightening the room as she wore a small smile to her lips.

"I helped Xander chose his room next to the master bedroom," my mother informed.

Xander glanced at me with his blue eyes. He reminded me so fucking much of Clara, almost a copy of her. Each time I looked at him, I only had the memories of me betraying her and leaving her pregnant on the streets. It only made me fucking sick.

I didn't know how to face my own kid. He didn't know that I was the reason that he and his mother was out in town for three years. I was excluded from his damn life for three years. My chest fucking tightened at all of the mistakes I caused, and the darkness was feeding on my damn guilt.

I did a nod and took my pen back in my hands. I stared at the files as I heard Xander talk with my mother.

"Grandma, when is Mummy coming to live with us? I miss Mummy," he murmured.

My fingers tightened around the pen at the mention of her. Xander meant the world to Clara, and when he left, I saw how fucking hurt she was. She needed him, but she was forced to stay away from him because of Arnaldo and Maurice.

"Mummy will be with us soon," my mother promised. "She has to look after Zelia first."

Xander nodded, and the frown set on his lips. I glanced over to see his reaction. It was clear he knew shit, but he was mature enough to not whine for Clara. He was smart for a three year old, and my parents were telling me how he was similar to me when I was young.

"Why don't you find Auntie Josephine? She made your favourite apple pie for dessert," my mother told Xander.

My mother set him to the ground, and he ran out of the room. He was a child that was complete opposite of me, naïve and soft, exactly like Clara. It was so fucking hard to be involved with him when I knew nothing about being a dad. His presence reminded me of my failures, no knowledge of being a proper father to my son.

I leaned forward, my elbow on my desk. I shut my eyes as I pitched the bridge of my nose. My mother had her hand over my shoulder as she allowed me to keep quiet for a few seconds.

"Clara will be back here soon," my mother comforted. "I could tell she still loves you, Hayden. Give her some time to think about everything."

"I have no time," I gritted my teeth, my voice thick with annoyance. "She can't be alone in Tarrin. Maurice and Arnaldo can easily get their hands on her."

"Tell Thomas to put some security guards remain around Tarrin. It will keep her safe, and it will relieve you from the concerns."

She patted my shoulder before closing the door to leave the room. I rested back on my chair again, tapping my fingers on my desk as I stared out at the window.

* * *

It's been a week since Xander came to Imperos. He adjusted to palace easily, and my parents visited often since my mother wanted to be around her grandson, the only heir to Nascadia. The joy on her face was uncontrollable ever since he came.

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