BTS Sickfics (request closed for now!)

Jeongguk (Jungkook) ~ Helpless

This chapter is going to be a special one, close to my heart. So this is in honor of my friend Roan, I will always think about you may you been happy where you are. 

Outside of BTS the boys had all different friends, some the same. Mostly the 95s had the same friends but also they had different groups.

Jungkook had a close small friend group, containing 5 other friend making them the amazing 6, at least that is what he called them. One of his friends was not ok, but not everyone knew.

But Jungkook knew, it was heavy to know, he needed someone to talk to. It was late that evening as he opened the bedroom door of Jin. Jungkook eyes where red from crying.

"Hyung?" he spoke soft, almost whispering.
"Kookie?" Jin sat up in his bed. "what is wrong?"

Jin opened his arms and welcomed the boy in a hug.
"I need you." Jungkook says soft. "I feel helpless, so one of my friends is thinking about killing himself. He has been struggling with his passed for years. Ever since his best friend did it to himself he always felt guilty, but I don't know what to do."
"If I am being honest I don't know either, it is really hard to say if he is ever going to do it or not." Jin aswers.
"But what if he does?"
"Than you are not responsible."
"But I know."
"you can't control him"
"He is always making jokes about when he is going to jump, or that I will not see him again, I always tell him that I will see him next time and he needs to call if he is thinking about ending it so I can stop him but what is he doesn't"
"You told him that you are going to be there for him, there is nothing more you can do than telling him to see a doctor."
"He is talking with one." Jungkook looked up.
"Than he is trying." With that the final words where said leaving the boys together in on bed sleeping.

Month passed after that confersation and nothing had happened till than but this day was going to change it all.

"wake up!" Hoseok yelled thourh the dorm making sure everyone was up to go to the studio today.
"Coming!" he heard a few time before eating some food Jin had made for breakfast. As everyone was slowly getting ready to go Jungkook felt off that day. He couldn't put his finger on it, maybe it just wasn't his day.

All the boys left the dorm and drove to the studio, they all had different thing to do. The maknea line and Jin had vocals first while the other boys where needed for recording. Splitting up makneas and Jin where warming up there voices as the phone of Jungkook started to ring. Because he was working he didn't hear it or noticed it.

Than they started to sing The untold truth making it sound like angels are going down to earth. After repeating this song and singing other they had a 5 minute break, Jungkook takes his phone seeing the missed calls.
"I am going to make a quick call." With that he called his friend back.
"Jeongguk" his friend says, the voice sounds off.
"You ok? Change of plans tonight?' Jungkook asks not liking the sound.
"He passed away."
"He jumped?"
"Yes he did."

Jungkook didn't say anything after that, he doesn't know how to react. For a moment he think this is not true, he is coming back, he is not gone, he would never.

"Tonight we meet at my house, see you there." The sad voice spoke, Jungkook was sure his friend was crying. But Jungkook stood there, in the big hall way with his bottle of water in his other had.

He walked in the room and sat down against the wall with his phone and water in his hand. Not doing anything just looking at the ground. As the break was over the other boys noticed that Jungkook got pale.
"Kookie you feeling ok?" Taehyung ask squats down to next to him.
"He jumped." Jungkook spoke as tears started to run out of his eyes. Not sure what was happening Taehyung and Jimin looked at Jin who remembered the conversation form a few month ago.

"You wanna go home?" Jin ask as he hugs Jungkook. But he shake his had no.
"I need to sing, I need to keep myself bizzy." Jungkook spoke as he stands up.
"It's ok, if you need time." Jimin says, hugging him.
"no, please." Jungkook says looking at the boys and directors who where concerned but nodded.

While singing Jungkook was shaking, his body as his voice.
"Ok maybe I need to go home." The boy says looking at his hyungs.
"Go see your friends." Jin says looking his little brother with sad eyes.

As Jungkook left the studio, the driver drove toward his friends house where they would meet. It was raining, as if the sky was crying. Tears where dripping form Jungkook eyes.

He thoughs where with his friend, as he was going to his friend he would be there, no he wouldn't. All Jungkook had left where memories and photo's.

"I couldn't stop him." He whispers. "I was to late. What if I just said something, what if I called him last night. What if I just told him that was worth living." he was talking to himself. The driver couldn't hear him and he was alone.

He was not here anymore and he will never be here again.

As the car stopped Jungkook looks outside seeing his friends house. Opening the door and leaving the car, thanking the driver and tells him that he will call if he needed to be pickup.

He knocked on the front door, as it opened he was welcomed with a embrace.

It was warm but also sad, everyone of his friends where there, he hug them all.
"I can't believe it." A friend spoke.
"Since when was he even struggling?" another ask, Jungkook knew that he and two others only knew and that was where it went wrong. He was the one who could help him.
"Maybe more than 10 years." A friend answers.
"How did we not know?"
"He told us not to say anything."
"but we are his friends." Saying that he released it was were... with left them in a silence.

There was soft music playing in the background. They talked, cried and even laughed that night, having each other was all they needed.

Jungkook called the driver and waited as he pulled up, hours had gone by, everyone starts to go home and as Jungkook entered the dorm he was met with his six hyungs in the living room.
Without saying a word he was embraced, it was a big grouphug.

"I feel like I could have stopped him." Jungkook spoke soft.
'Remember what is said? You are not responsible." Jin says.
"Some people can't be helped, some just needed to know that you were there for them. Just like he knew that you didn't want him to leave." Namjoon says.
"He knows he was loved." Hoseok says.
"But why did he jump." Jungkook says, he felt anger.
"Honey, we can't look inside someone mind. We can't feel his pain, we can't know what he was thinking." Jimin says stroking Jungkooks hair.
"I will never be able to tell him anything anymore."
"That is not true, I believe you can say anything to him. He will just not answer back." Yoongi says.
"Just know that you are an amazing friend and he knew that too." Jin says.

after writing this I released it was more difficult to write than i though it would have been. because the truth is, it happened now 2,5 years ago and I still wonder if i could have changed it. I know that he was thinking about it for a long time but he was also talking about it like it was a joke and that he could never do it because of the pain. 

But he jumped, at as up today i feel guilt and i don't know it that is ever going away. But what I do know is that i miss him more thatn i though I ever would. 

Please if you need anything i will be here.