What The Fuck Polibio?!

thirty one

Christina's pov:

as i sat by mattia's hospital bed, i began to wonder why no one else has come in to see him yet. i quickly remembered that he didn't really have anyone. maybe that's why he took three pills. maybe that's why he did it.

i started to cry and moved my hand to lay on top of his. i wrapped my fingers around his and held them. maybe if i would've just put the drug addiction aside and loved him then he wouldn't have overdosed. he was close to dead right now and it could be because of me.

"oh my god" i stated, still crying.

i know the nurse said he was more than likely to recover but all i could think about was that machine flatlining. i couldn't get the thought of mattia dying out of my head. something i definitely did not want to happen. but why did he want it to happen?

i closed my eyes and prayed to god that mattia wakes up. all i wanted right now is to tell him i'm sorry. all i wanted was to make sure he knew that i cared about him. i wanted to tell him how much he meant to me.

i sat there crying for another long while before my eyes started to burn. my cheeks were puffy and my face felt hot. i didn't know what else to do. what was there to do?

i desperately wanted to just tell him how i was feeling. could he hear me? eh it was worth a shot.

"mattia. i don't know if you can hear me right now, but i'm sorry. i know this has to be partly my fault. i should've put my petty thoughts aside and just said how i feel. i should've just told you how much you mean to me. i should've just came out and said how i think i love you" i said.

my eyes were out practically of tears but i continued to cry. i didn't know what else to say.

i got up from my chair, wiped my bloodshot eyes, leaned down, and felt my lips come in contact with mattia's.

~